Letter to My Firstborn

I know you are 18 and a half now and you have jumped into your new life with both feet. You haven't looked back once. If you had, you would have seen me frantically waving and if you looked closely, a tear or two trickling down my cheek.

I'm thrilled and happy for you that college is treating you so well. You are making connections and finding your niche which makes me realize you will definately "make it." You have embraced your ROTC training and love it. I can hear the excitement in your voice when you call and I am happy.

I watched you during your senior year in h.s. and knew you were simply waiting. Fingers drumming on a hard surface type of waiting. So, I'm not really surprised that you have done all the things that you have already in college. ROTC is thrilled to have you - and why not? You are one of the "gifted and talented" ones! You are smart and definately leadership and officer material. Plus, you are 194 lbs. of muscle so you have the physique to back up your leadership. The Fraternity would be lucky to get you. You are funny, and personable and someone that anyone would want representing a great organization.

But, here's what I see when I look at you....I remember the morning after you were born. It had a been a long delivery and a long, tiring night. The next morning after the nurses bathed you, they brought you in to my room. I had just turned 22 years old. I was still not even used to anyone treating me like a grown up, yet alone, a mom. They put you on my stomach and I leaned you against my bent legs as I sat up in the bed. Then I peeled away the blanket to really look at you. You were PERFECT! Then you yawned. My heart was no longer my own.

I have spent the last 18 and a half years keeping you safe, trying to make you happy and teach you a little here and there. A life in the military goes completely against a mother's instincts and it is something I struggle with.

I miss you. You have always made me laugh, like a friend. But, you warned me that you wouldn't come home the first couple months of college. I thought you were joking. I was prepared for lots of laundry on the weekends. Then nothing. Each weekend you were busy with friends. I haven't done laundry once. I know I'm pitiful. But, I am a person who shows love by doing. I want to do your laundry so I can say I love you. When you left for college, you took something that you didn't even realize. A big chunk of my heart. You've owned it since that yawn but I am left trying to live without it.

So, here I am. Look I'm waving! No laundry....I love you!

"Lost"

I admit it. I am now officially hooked on the series "Lost". Not as desperately as my brother who is spending a good part of everyday thinking about all of the clues in this interesting t.v. show and surfing the net for chat rooms and additional ideas.

I have never seen a show that uses such upper level thinking, yet its okay if you don't catch every clue or reference (I certainly DON'T!). There are lots of chat rooms out there where people are discussing their ideas and theories and I learn a lot from them (NOT spending as much time as Doug!).

Who is Desmond, is he related to Jack? Why does he keep calling him brother? Who are The Others? Did the people in the tail section survive???

Or, as Charlie would say, maybe its all bollocks!

F in Waiting

I have never been good at waiting. It makes me cranky, lethargic and lackluster (hey, its not the best word but it does describe what I get like).

When I was waiting the 35 hours to have power restored to my home I was all of the above. I even knew this would happen and prepared but it didn't matter. When I was having to live it I sank into an abyss.

We had our campstove out to cook on. Our grill was out of gas (F in survival skills too!). I precooked bacon and sausage so that we wouldn't have to use very much propane for breakfast. I baked a cake and biscuits. Hard-boiled eggs. Filled containers with water (though we never lost water) and pulled out board games to play with the boys.

By Sunday mid-morning I was swimming in a sea of lethargy. "I can't sweep the filthy kitchen floor because I would have to use the broom" no matter that the broom only required the power of my arms---I couldn't bring myself to do anything. Probably had something to do with the hangover from the night before but still, I was getting sick of myself.

In the meantime, husband has borrowed a generator so I was able to blow dry my hair but no a/c. We plugged in the freezer and he hooked up a little t.v. and proceeded to camp happily on the sofa and watch football.

Finally, I said, "We've got to get out of here!" and we ended up going to T.G.I. Fridays (which also put me in spitting distance of the mall and lifted my spirits immediately!) for an early dinner and luckily the power came back on while we were gone....

Life Post Hurricane Rita

Well, Rita ended up being skeered of Houston and instead went for poor Beaumont and Lake Charles. I am very thankful that it did but I feel sorry for the many people who did end up suffering.

We ended up staying and riding it out, simply because we could not get out. The mass exodus of a million people amounted to a lot of gridlock. When I saw the bus load of poor retirees go up in flames I decided that my family and I were safer facing the hurricane. Our gamble paid off. Believe me, it was a gamble. We could have just have easily gotten the full brunt of Rita and had 100 mph winds. We had instead 30-40 mph winds and several sleepless nights. The next door neighbor had a big pine tree fall on his house. We just had a mess of leaves and branches that tried to fill up our pool.

The real test of Rita was the next morning when it had all passed and then the POWER WENT OUT! Yesterday was okay. It was kind of like camping. Plus, it was cool outside and nice to sit outside and visit with the neighbors. But then it was still out today. And it was hot, like 93 degrees!! Camping isn't so fun then and I woke up with a hangover. Whilst visiting with the neighbors we imbibed a lot of wine. Finally at about 6 pm our power came back on. Good thing. The kids were having absolute withdrawals from no t.v.

Now I just have to make it through the next two days. School is cancelled until Wednesday!!! Oh, no!!!!!!

Waiting Rita Out

We are staying. For sure. Its too late to leave now. The clouds are moving in and the wind is just starting to kick up. We have boarded and hoarded and are getting ready to "hunker down." We were going to leave when the winds were predicted to reach 100 mph but now they should be more around 50 - 70mph.

I have cleaned out a closet and filled water containers, baked a cake (makes me feel like I am playing my violin on the Titanic!!).

Its going to be a long night and an even longer Saturday. This monster is supposed to come ashore around 5 am. I am already sleep deprived from bad sleep last night and the night before. Keeping my fingers crossed that we are okay and the house doesn't suffer too much damage.

Rita is on our Tail

We tried to leave at 4 am. Drove to a "back road" way and saw that it was bumper to bumper. Everyone and their dog (we had our 3 dogs!!) was trying to go the "back"way north. So, we turned to head back to I-45 and radio reports said it was taking 8 hours to go 20 miles.

I DO NOT want to run out of gas sitting on I-45. I will take my chances in the closet under my stairs. Our other idea is to sit in the car inside of the garage. My hubs built this garage with his own two hands. Used 2 x 12's and such that it is built better than the house!

The good news is that the storm has turned east a bit. They are now saying that the winds could hit 75 instead of over 100 mph. Let's hope this storm stays east of us.

We do plan to leave if the roads clear out. Right now they say it is a 100 mile back up on I-45. No thanks.

To Leave or Not to Leave??????

I go back and forth. I should hit the road and just go to Dallas to stay with my brother and his family. Or, no, I should stay, just ride it out. It may not be as bad. The worst is that we might lose power for a few days. It is really friggin' hot here. We do have a pool and plenty of food. What to do??? I can't make a decisiion. The roads are already backing up so I don't want to get on an interstate. Hubs does not want to leave so it would be me and my friend and her kids. My indecision is killing me.

The 40 Year Old Virgin

Tonight was a girl's night out. So, we went to the movies and picked this movie. This movie is too, too funny. And, I might add that Steve Carrell is awfully appealing in a dorky, sweet way.

The scene where he is getting his chest waxed almost made me cry. I don't think that was faked at all. I think they really did wax his chest! That, and at the end when he sings the song "Age of Aquarius" was killing me.

The only thing I didn't like was the use of the F word about 3,465,723 times. Really, they could have cut out about 3,465,713 of those and the movie would have been just as funny. This is coming from me, who actually likes the F word. Its a personal fav in those times of need but even I have my limits. It loses its effectiveness and isn't that why the word is used in the first place?

In the Eye

The news channels are going crazy that Rita is aiming itself/herself? right at Texas! Last night, while watching the news, I could feel the adrenaline kick in and an urge to run to the store and buy batteries, water, wine, chocolate, and other absolute necessities take over.

Okay, I have never actually been in a hurricane. But being from Oklahoma, I am used to tornadoes. Tornadoes don't give you any warning, or not much. They seem worse (yes, I did see what happened to New Orleans) and scarier to me. The last big storm that hit, Tropical Storm Allison, I was out of town! Missed the whole thing! Actually got stuck in NYC because we couldn't fly back.

In the t.v. news panic last night my actual comment to my hubby was, "I hope we get some rain out of this thing."

Movie Review

Went to see "Just Like Heaven," last night. It was okay. A nice romantic comedy. Boy meets spirit. Boy falls in love with spirit. Boy gets the spirit. But, you definately have to suspend belief when you sit down because there really isn't one moment of this movie that is plausible.

For example, pretty doctor girl in car, hit head on by Mac Truck. Not one scratch on her. When she does come around she doesn't have a scar or even a limp.

Mark Ruffalo has the shy, bumbling guy type down pat. He is a cutie. Weak chin but killer bod. He's the sensitive guy every woman wants. Dark men are definately my type. See my list (previous post) except for David Beckman (and he is new and a bit tenuous on my list) all are dark headed. See my husband (pic in previous post).

As a writer, it amazes me what gets published or made into a movie. It should give me hope but on the other hand....

Put it on a T-Shirt

Site seen in Target today. Girl wearing a black t-shirt with the words "More Than A Mouthful" emblazoned in white. Call me old-fashioned, or just call me old, I could not wear that shirt (and it would be true in my case, honey! I think this girl must have been wearing her "big" sisters shirt or was just false advertising).

T-Shirts are the latest item to widen the generation gap. I never thought I would be on this side of the gap but here I am. I can't bring myself to wear t-shirts with naughty sayings on them. Not all are naughty and some are actually kind of cute. A friend of my 12 year old's came over today with a pink t-shirt on that said "Seperate reds from white" and I did let my youngest buy a shirt with one of the "Ed's" on it that says, "I Dressed Myself." That is completely innocent.

But, one day, I bought my oldest son a t-shirt that had a hilarious comment on it but when I showed it to him he said it was naughty. He used to tease me that he wanted to have a pet monkey some day. And, when he came home at the holidays that I was going to have to set a place at the table for the monkey and he was going to train his monkey to do all kinds of chores. I would always tell him what a nasty pet a monkey is and that no way could he have one. It was a long running joke between us. Well, one day while I shopping I saw a t-shirt that said, "My Monkey Made Me Do It" and I thought how funny!! My son then explained to me that the monkey was referring to a male's genitalia and he couldn't believe that I bought him that shirt!!

Monkey??? When did it start getting called monkey?? I've heard of tube steak, weiner, and a list of other names but never monkey. I can even imagine the term banana but not monkey....the gap is widening as I type....

The Joy of Dentistry

I've been looking forward to today for a month now. I get to go to my dentist and get a crown put on. Which means they use a drill and basically make your own tooth look like something out of a horror movie (with me as the monster with my nasty teeth) and then they put a little hat (cap) over your tooth. I have dreaded it just cuz I am a big titty baby. I don't even have one of the kids with me today which usually helps me act like a big girl. Don't want to scar my children and make them afraid of the dentist! But today, I am on my own. I wonder how a shot of tequila would taste at 11:00 in the morning?

My List

Everyone remember the Friend's episode and the list? You can have a list of 5 celebrities and if you ever had the chance to "do the nasty" with one of them it would be okay. It would not be cheating since they were on the list.

My list: (in no certain order)
1.Vince Vaughn
2.Ben Affleck
3.Andy Garcia (he is close to getting his butt kicked off though! He was looking portly in the Oceans movies)
4.David Beckham

Usetabes include: Delete: Kevin Costner. Delete: Johnny Depp

I know you noticed there was not a #5 yet. I have a new person to add to the list!!! And now, my new #5.....there is just something about this guy that I find riveting, attractive, sexy, magnetic.....Tommy Lee! Have you seen his dimples? I know he is a skinny ass guy with a lot of tatoos but there is something extremely sexy about him. Hey, I am not alone in this. My hubs list includes Heather Locklear (I think she has achieved tenure on his list) and she MARRIED Tommy Lee (along with that slut Pamela Anderson).

I'm checking on enrollment procedures for University of Nebraska....hey, if I just happen to be in the same town its okay!

When Your Life is On Oprah

I want to be on Oprah someday...but for the right reasons. I want to be on there touting my fabulous new book. Hopefully it will be the same day as Jude Law or Tommy Lee.

Otherwise, no thanks. I don't want to go one there to tell the world that I am deeply in debt, a pathological liar or some other horrible thing. Like a friend of mine. I just found out the other day that a friend of mine found out her husband is gay. After church one day he just couldn't keep his secret any longer so told her and moved out. They have two kids. I know she has to be feeling like her life is a nightmare and hopefully she is going to wake up soon. Its humiliating enough to go through a divorce and have to admit to the world that a mistake was made but this is too much for anyone, especially a kid to go through.

I hope she can reach the point someday where she realizes that she is better off and her life is way better now. I hope her kids can do the same.

My brother's motto: What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger.

Video Games are Bad

My son wants to be in the military. Where does this desire come from? I have no idea but I think maybe it has to do with all the video games. He spent a good deal of his life shooting things in video games. Now he wants to do it for real. This is not a career choice I would have made for him. Not that I don't think a career in the military is good. I love our soldiers and love knowing they are protecting us but like any mother, I don't want my son in the line of fire.

He does look pretty cute in his ROTC outfit.

Now That's A Fish!

This is just one of the 7 fish that were caught on a recent weekend trip to the Gulf of Mexico.
There were some happy boys (and men!) on that boat!

Things I Noticed Yesterday....

I went to the corner drugstore yesterday to get a prescription filled. While I was waiting I saw a sign on the counter that said, "Your Rx label can now be printed in these languages!" Then there was a list, Spanish, Arabic, Italian etc. Near the bottom there was a language called "Tagalog" that I have never in my life heard of. People at my corner drugstore are speaking Tagalog??? Believe me, after that I was listening in on every conversation trying to hear this different language but all I heard was English.

No, thats not true. I did hear Spanish. The next thing that happened is these 3 Hispanic men came in. I had already passed them in the candy aisle. They were younger, nice looking and obviously doing some kind of dirty work (at least that day). As I sat near the pharmacy listening for Tagalog, one of them came back there and then right in front of me was buying condoms. He even yelled back something in Spanish to one of the others - I was wondering what he could be asking while he was picking out which condom, maybe, "Should I buy the store brand? Do you think it is as good as Trojan?" or "Ribbed or non-ribbed? Do we care about her pleasure?" I was surprised at myself at how embarassed I was that I was sitting right there and this guy is preparing for sex (buying condoms).

Of course, I couldn't tell you what he was asking because good Lord, people, I can't even speak Tagalog yet. What makes you think I can interpret Spanish?

Are You Ready for some Football?

We went to Morgan's first football game last night. In our middle school there are so many boys playing that there is a "blue" team and a "white" team. Everyone thinks that this fools the kids but it doesn't. The one is the "A team" and the other the "B team", or in other words, the "really great team" and the "pretty good team".

As I waited for the game to start I looked over the roster and then noticed that my child is tied for tiniest on the "pretty good team." No wonder he is only on the "pretty good team." He is exceptionally fast and very athletic but wondered why he wasn't getting played as much. Now I know to kiss that coach the next time he is close enough. It is so the boy in 7th grade who weighs 252 lbs. (yes, there is one!!!!) doesn't literally kill my 71 lb. tyke.

My little guy did very well. There was only one time that he was supposed to block this guy that was huge compared to him and he bounced off of him like a gnat. You had to give him his props for trying to bring the guy down though. He did tackle several others and had his name called out by the announcer 4 times. All in all, it was pretty cool. And, I got it all on video.

I lost a bet though to my youngest. We had a bet ($2) that the announcer would say our name wrong. People usually mess it up. I was happy to lose this one!

In the face of Tragedy

Refugees are pouring in. Over 40,000 at least. They just bussed in 25,000 to the Astrodome! They have even opened a shelter nearby.

What to do? Do I just give money or clean out clothes and shoes, or go and buy bottled water or diapers? I tend to get overwhelmed and then end up doing nothing. I want to do something.

I put myself in the place of these people. No home. No privacy. Can't eat what you want. Can't sleep in your own bed - maybe ever again. Can't just go and take a shower easily. Did they grab their photo albums? I would have too many to fit into "my bag." I can't even imagine what life must be like now. And its not getting much better soon.