Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Pet Peeves #423 - #427

It's that time again...

#423 Don't mistake my "how are you?" for "how are you?" - When I am checking out at the dollar store or whizzing through my grocery store. I don't need an entire rundown of your ailments/problems/details. It is not appropriate. Especially when I don't know you. Dear Lady who works at Ross: I think you are super-duper. But, today when 6 people were behind me in line I did not need you to be so worried that the duck statue I purchased for the guest room would make it home with his neck in one piece. It was five frickin' ninty-nine. And, the ensuing story of the swan's and their babies? Totally not needed.

#424 Racial Slurs: Person who I took to lunch today? When I am waiting on a person driving a van to turn, and ask aloud if she needs a red carpet - I would have said it regardless of her sex, race or creed (what is a creed anyway??) or color. You did not need to throw in at this point, "Orientals." All that did was place the word "Idiot" in my head - about you.

#425 Fake cereal. Why is the Krispy Rice cereal over $1 cheaper than Rice Krispies?? Why??? They all snap, crackle and pop. They all make pefectly acceptable rice krispy treats. Are elves union?

#426 Breast cancer. Breast cancer sucks. I have a friend who is waiting on a second opinion and most likely a biopsy. She is emerging from a yucky divorce and rediscovering life just to discover the possibility of cancer.

#427 - Situations I do not know how to handle: Please help all-knowing and wise internet. Recently, we had friends come to stay and they brought their dog. Said dog seemed okay but upon their leaving the following day, I found several places where said dog "visited" and left presents. Like, poopage and pee-age (on my carpet). I believe these same friends plan to return in about a month. Do I mention the few incidentals they left behind (from their dog's behind) and ask for the dog not to come with them? Or, do I just keep my mouth shut and try to keep an eye on the offender? I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings and I don't want the owner to feel terrible (okay, maybe a little but that was only the duration of the cleaning up period).

Monday, August 20, 2007

Tis the Season

This is the time of year when you can feel the magic! The air just tingles with it! The T.V. media won't shut-up about it. Hurricane season!!

There is a very symmetrical and well-formed storm named Dean who is churning his way to a vacation in Cancun. But, according to my Doppler/Viper enhanced weatherman, Houston is in the CONE OF UNCERTAINTY. (this is the area of possibilities that this storm could hit, maybe, but only on days ending in E or a month with an R in it - kidding)

It began on Friday - these hurricane updates for an event that will not take place for over a week. We are already being whipped into panic mode because the CONE OF UNCERTAINTY shows there is a snowballs chance in hell this thing could turn north.

My parents called on Friday asking if we were evacuating. What??? Uh, no. Thanks Mr. Weatherman for scaring my parents to death. My parents who live for weather events and the weather channel. My mother who has 20-20 Hindsight and always "had a feeling something like this was going to happen."

By the end of the week, if I have had to hear the phrase CONE OF UNCERTAINTY many more times, I will have already killed myself. H-Dean will have one less Houstonian to worry about.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

The Defining Moment

When you look back at your life, have you ever had a defining moment? I don't know that you recognize them when you are in the midst of one. It is in retrospect, you realize that that one event changed everything?

I will tell you a story...

When I was 16 I began working for a veterinarian. "Kay" was the same age as I was and began working there around the same time. She went to a different high school and was a little shy but after a little time, we really hit it off. We became pretty close. Like, spend the night close. Tell each other our deepest secrets kind of close.

She had a different home life than I did. Her parents were divorced and she never really got to know her real dad. Her mom had remarried a doctor, so they were very well off, but her mother had a child with this man and that child seemed to grab all of the mother's attention. To put it mildly, Kay and her mother DID NOT get along very well.

For one thing, her mother would exercise the power of "no" simply to do so. No reason given, just "No, you can't go with your friends tonight." Then, when Kay turned 16 they bought her the ultimate of vehicles, a Pontiac Firebird. This was the mecca of cars, pure nirvana with raised white letters.

The summer of our senior year, as thoughts of college, dorm life and older boys! went through our heads, Kay spent the night with me. We stayed up late, laughed and talked a lot and for some reason, I took pictures of her. She posed with my dog Muffy and did a few other silly poses. I don't know why I did it. I mean, this was the day when you had to drive all the way to a FOTOMAT! Pictures took effort and negatives! and money!

The next day I worked the early shift and then waited for Kay to arrive to pick up the afternoon shift. We always liked to overlap each other so we could talk. Kay didn't arrive early. There were a few clouds in the sky so I told our lab tech (who was like a mom to us teens) "I'll bet Kay's mom said she couldn't drive because it might rain (Her mother used this excuse all of the time - it made Kay ballistic! I mean who in their right mind buys their kid an awesome sports car and then won't let them drive it but every other day not ending in Y??)

I tried to call Kay's personal phone line (imagine back before the days of cell phones). No answer. My pulse is quickening at this point. My antenna is wiggling, goosebumps bumping and radar on high alert. Something is wrong and all of my senses know it. Another 30 minutes goes by...

Our lab tech used to work at our local hospital. She says, "You know, I'll call my friend who works at the hospital and just check and make sure they haven't had any accidents come in." I wait nervously. I watch her face as she is on the phone and I know the signs of distress. Something has happened.

She gets off the phone and gives me that look. That look of "I have bad news and am getting ready to knock your world off its axis."

"They have a girl in the E.R. My friend says its Kay. She tried to kill herself."

I was prepared for a car accident but this? I find my knees buckling and I slide to the floor in shock and horror. "How? What happened?" I ask her.

"She shot herself. They still have a heartbeat and are working on her but it doesn't look good."

I ended up getting to the hospital, talking to police detectives (who were all hung up on the calendar notation 38-Special - which I had to explain was a CONCERT not a suicide directive). But, long story short - this incident fucked with my head big time. The entire rest of the summer was a blur.

I ended up going to college but finding no point in it and dropping out after 18 months. The sense of betrayal took me years to get over. Why didn't she share this plan with me? She spent the night with me the night before! You don't go and dig your step-dad's 357 magnum out of the closet, stand in front of your dresser table mirror, place the gun under your ear towards the rear of your head (where all vital organs are located - not in the more popular movie version temporal lobes) without planning a little beforehand. How could she not call me before and say "Hey, I am miserable and thinking about ending it all?" I would have talked her out of it.

The rest is as they say "history." I did go back and finish college but it took me years to figure out why I didn't finish the first time around. It wasn't until just a couple of years ago that I figured out what a pivotal point this incident played in my life.

Wednesday, August 08, 2007

What is Cheating?

What constitutes cheating? I am not talking about in school but in marriage. What qualifies as an infidelity?

I have a friend who met someone. Then struck up a text/email/phone relationship. According to my source, nothing physical has happened. Plenty of discussion about attraction has though. There is no doubt that these two people are attracted to each other but if they haven't touched is it wrong? Could it just be a harmless flirtation that will eventually burn itself out?

So, would you consider this cheating? Yet?

Personally, I can appreciate a handsome man and I don't feel that just looking is in any way cheating on my husband. When we married I did not pluck out his eyes with a hot poker so I know he notices an especially hot girl when he sees one.

But, I am interested to know what the internet thinks about the first scenario.