A Rant about Bathrooms

I spend my fair share of time in bathrooms. Don't get all squeemish on me - its a fact, you do too. Couple this with the amount of time I spend on the road for my job in sales. I have become an expert in the public bathroom. And, with that, I have my usual pet peeve list:

1. Bathrooms that get cute with the signage. You know, pictures of people instead of the usual "Men" or "Women" signs. I was in an asian restaurant one time that did this and there was hardly any difference in the pictures. Both depicted a figure wearing a robe with straight black hair - dancing. Dancing because they couldn't figure out which bathroom to go into???? I waited until someone came out and then based my decision on their previous decision. I have been walked in on by a man who made a hasty judgement call so my fear is justified.

2. Stalls that you can hardly turn around in. If I was a man I could walk straight in, stand there and do my biz, then just back out. Women don't get the option of standing or sitting. We have to walk in, turn around, sit down and then reverse. There are some bathrooms that you can hardly close the door without hitting your knees on it. I am a small person so I am not sure how a large person does it.

3. Bathrooms with "fake you out" soap dispensers. A lot of bathrooms will have a built in soap dispenser but they don't use it and place another on the counter. This results in a dry pump.

4. Bathrooms where I have to wave at everything. I don't mind waving at my soap dispenser, then the water and then the towel but anymore I am not sure if it is an old fashioned crank/handle/pump or not. So, I am waving wildly at everything in there.

5. Stalls that have 3" gaps around the door. Why bother even shutting the door? Or stalls where you have to lift the door to get the lock to fit.

6. While I deplore defacing public property, I do enjoy a bit of bathroom graffiti now and then, such as:

"Go home Mom, You're Drunk" or

"If you miss when you piss, be a sweety and wipe the seaty" or this oldy but a goody,

"Here I sit broken-hearted, I came to shit but only farted."

Nothing like little bathroom humor.