Saturday, June 28, 2008

Not Sanctioned by Miss Post

I haven't actually reached an age where I can truly say, "I think I've seen everything" but something happened this week that makes me want to spew that cliche.

My 15 year old son received an invitation in the mail. To A Baby Shower. FOR A GIRL IN HIS CLASS.

No - he doesn't know her that well (and certainly not THAT well, as in the biblical sense!) and he doesn't even consider her a friend.

I was simply stunned that anyone was celebrating this child being pregnant. I knew about the pregnancy months ago and was shocked like everyone else. She seems like a "good girl" and all that. Cute, outgoing, good family. This was an oops. A Juno moment.

I believe this type of situation should be handled delicately. We can all love that baby when it gets here and of course, it will be just as special and valued as any other child. But, whilst the daughter is preggers I don't think its appropriate for her to take the ultrasound shots to school. And, I don't think its appropriate to invite 9th grade boys (who think the whole thing is gross and disgusting - or at least the one who lives in my household does) to a baby shower.

In addition, much to Miss Emily Post's dismay, the shower is being hosted by THE MOTHER/SOON -TO- BE -GRANDMOTHER, which for those who are not up on all things etiquette is gauche. Please do not bombard me with comments about "how things are changing" because you see, I DON'T CARE. I don't care what anyone says about "men being in the delivery room blah, blah, blah." I think a baby shower for couples is great. Let's assume everyone is at least of voting age, if not drinking, shall we???? My son is not. Good grief! He can't even drive. He's not going to be thrilled to play shower games or ooh and aaah over burp rags and diaper genies.

I believe that our society has lost its sense of shame. And, I for one, find that a real shame.

Monday, June 23, 2008

Sweatin' to the Oldies

We went to a concert last night. A "Classic Rock" concert a/k/a Older People Playing and Older People Listening to Old Music. This was an all afternoon music festival with 5 bands playing.

The bands were surprisingly good. By that, I mean, they still sounded recognizable. The surprise of the evening? Night Ranger. They did a great job. Styx brought the house out of their wheelchairs, I mean, to their feet and Boston was the kicker. The only reason I was there? To see Alan Parsons Project. They did not disappoint.

Here were a few of my observations:

1. A prevalence of earplugs. I was in a reserve box and didn't find the music THAT loud.

2. A prevalence of nerds....with $$$. I felt a bit of a statement was being made by some with their Rockport sandals and Tommy Bahama shirts - "I wasn't cool enough to go to a concert when I was in high school, but I can afford to buy cool now."

3. People bringing their kids. I did not begrudge the ones who brought 16-18 year olds but the ones who brought their 8 and 9 year olds? What the hell? Do you people not have any friends you could have invited along?

4. An astounding number of 50 year olds playing the air guitar. It was pretty funny but quite humiliating for the ones who brought their kids.

You can see by the picture that the dude in front of me was sporting the "do" of the day. Male Pattern Baldness.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

A Hole You Pour $$ In

We have become boat owners. We were novices and by some yardsticks, probably still are, but we tried to educate ourselves before purchasing.

Used? New? Size? Does it matter? (of course it does!)
Know-It-All types all had dire warnings such as the title of this post or, "The two best days in a boat owner's life is the day he buys and the day he sells!"
We were determined to NOT be those people. Because, of course, we were going to do it right. We were going to buy a GOOD boat. A dependable boat.
Last weekend we picked up the boat. We had two fabulous days on the lake. Tubing and wakeboarding. The boys loved it. We loved it. I love my boat. On the last day, the trouble started.
The engine would crank right over and start and it could idle out of the "no wake zone" area. The minute we would give it more gas the engine would start "dogging" out and there was no acceleration. We are taking the boat back to where we bought it and they are supposed to fix it. I am sure it isn't a big deal but big enough there was no tubing that day - Just several crushed hearts and sad faces.
Please tell me this isn't the way it is always going to be....

Monday, June 02, 2008


Well, I did it. I am now Faceless. I created a Facebook and now I have "deactivated" my Facebook. I know I will age myself by proclaiming that Facebook is drivel and boring. So, yes, now you know I am over the age of 24.

To be fair, of my grand total of 11 friends on Facebook more than half were older than 24 too. I am prepared for a backlash - a veritable shit storm of controversy. If Facebook is that important to you than I simply say, "I'm sorry." Sorry your life is not filled with uh, um....LIFE.

Seriously, though, why? Why Facebook? And, no, I don't have a MySpace, but thanks for asking.

What is the point of Facebook? No real communication goes on. Unless you count "Debbie just got poked by Carrie" as REAL communicating. The people who you end up "finding" and adding to your friends list? I wasn't looking for them in the first place.

I know the world is changing. Its summer and when I was growing up that meant I watched Mr. Rogers Neighborhood even when I was way too old because there was nothing else on! We actually would turn the t.v. off because there was NOTHING on for kids to watch.

Summer meant completing the chore list my mother would leave for us - clean horse stalls, water trees, mow yard, clean kitchen and my least favorite, weeding the vegetable garden. I cursed many a tomato under the hot, dry Oklahoma sun.

My kids move from t.v. to computer, to Xbox, to PSP. I leave a few chores like empty the dishwasher or bring your dirty clothes downstairs. Let's face it. We don't have the chores now like we used to. I don't have horses or a vegetable garden. I will accept a little blame as a minor control freak that I like things done a certain way, thus its easier to do it myself.

Facebook is a part of this generation. Now instead of riding your bike to your friends house and sneaking into the neighbors pool, kids just live from screen to screen. Friends are to be visited via Facebook or MySpace but not FACE-to-FACE.

I for one mourn the loss. Some of my greatest memories are of summers where my friends and I got sooooooo bored we made shit up. Like Boob Cream.

The boob cream got created because one of my girlfriends was still flat as a pancake while the rest of us were budding bumps proudly. We had this idea and told her that we used this special cream. Of course, the cream was just crap that we mixed together from the bathroom - lotion, soap, baby oil - but she believed it. Totally. I wish I only knew how long she faithfully rubbed the boob cream on.

Okay - I know its not the best use of a kids time but my point is - I rarely see my kids get THAT bored anymore. Some parents think that if their kid gets bored for one minute they will immediately take to using and dealing Crack but I think with that kind of boredom comes creativity.