Monday, March 02, 2009

A DumbAss Deed I will own up to...

Have you ever done something really stupid and afterwards wondered if everyone else in the world knows NOT to do "blank" and why didn't you? If you answer no, then I must have been given your share of "Dumbass Deeds." Go ahead, say thank you. You probably have no idea how much grief I have saved you.

Let me peel through the annals of my personal "Dumbass Deeds." Ah Ha! Here's a good one:

We were transferred to Louisiana when my youngest was about 3 and the older one was 8. The youngest wasn't even a glimmer in his daddy's eye yet.

We bought a house and it had wood floors. I had never had wood floors before. They were shiny and pretty. One day in a fit of cleaning (which only occur during a lunar eclipse) I decided that sweeping my wonderful wood floors would not be enough! I wanted to really clean them.

Hmmmm, think, think, think....I use furniture polish on my wood furniture and it gleams so it should make my wood floors look spectacular! I sprayed and polished and sprayed and polished all through the kitchen and living room. And, yes! My wood floors sparkled and shined. Just as I reached around to pat myself on the back, the 3 year old comes walking into the room in his stockinged feet. The second he hit the wood floors both feet went flying out from under him! OMG!! I scooped him up to check for lumps on his head. There was a hang time of about 5 seconds before he could gasp a breath and then howl. I comforted him and in walked in my husband (also only wearing socks) to see what all the fuss was about - WHAM! THUD! - He goes down, narrowly missing smacking his head on a corner cabinet.

Holy Shit! What did I do? I created the FLOORS OF DEATH! Of course, when I tell my husband what I think MIGHT be the problem with the floor, he looks at me like I am an idiot (really couldn't blame him at this point).

The real fun started as we tried to figure out how to De-death-a-size our floors...let's just say we wore hiking boots with ice climbing clamps in our house for quite a while after that.