Warning...rambling nonsense ahead

Okay. So I haven't posted in a while. I'M DEPRESSED.

I thought I'd gotten the whole "company folded - now I'm laid off" thing off my mind in two days. Well, not really, it just got replaced with the entire family descending for Thanksgiving so I cleaned and cooked my brains out for that holiday. Didn't have time to think about it.

Don't mean to sound like my holiday wasn't fun. It was very fun. I love my family. But then everyone went back to their lives - work and school and I was left here. To stare at the walls. To think of how I should have been in Louisiana touring the fab yard - if I was working.

I have got to find something. I want to feel passionate about something (besides my husband, of course!). I enjoyed getting dressed up every day. I enjoyed feeling like I had to be somewhere and I enjoyed the thought of a paycheck. Midlife crisis? Maybe. I'm tired of my day being filled with errands that I would have to do regardless of whether or not I worked. I probably should find going to Wal-mart very fulfilling but call me crazy....I just don't.

I am reading a book called "A Walk In The Woods" and now I am ready to go and hike the Appalachian Trail. I would love to do something big like that but I know I am too big of a chicken to ever really do something like that.

I hope your holiday weekend was warm and fuzzy and yummy.

Flashdance

My husband bought the movie Flashdance and we watched it last night. Yes, I know. If I didn't know better I would think he was gay too. Nope. He ain't even on the downlow or nothing. He just likes a good chick flick every now and then.

I had not seen this movie since high school. It was one of the first movies with a soundtrack that became as well known as the movie. Did you realize how deep this movie was? Didn't think so. It involves many life lessons that one can take to heart.

A. If you are a woman - be a welder. Most careers involving hats lead to "hat hair." Not so with the welding hat/mask contraption. When you take it off, your hair cascades into perfect curls and dances on your shoulders.

B. Segueing into dancing....Did you realize that men want to watch women perform freaky experimental dance numbers WITH THEIR CLOTHES ON? All this time I thought titty bars were what men liked (some men - if you do not like them then I am not talking to you).

C. Flashdance is the female Rocky. Same state, different city. Watch Alex ride her bike around Pittsburgh instead of run up stairs in Philly.

D. We all thought when Harry Met Sally had a provocative dining scene. Nope. Watch Alex (Jennifer Beals) eat, no eviscerate, a lobster while pretending she is having oral sex with it. While wearing a man's tux. Without no shirt on under the cardboard fake shirt (??? I know, I still don't understand where she bought that either! But, I am thinking Christmas party outfit!). Watch Nick (Michael Nouri) squirm as he is now unable to walk out of the restaurant.

E. Leg warmers make your legs look good. Those who are old enough to have worn them the first time around, chime in here! We all LOVED them! And, the good news? Leg warmers are coming back!!

F. This whole movie was one big butt scene. And, we all found out later it wasn't even Jennifer's butt.

G."If you give up your dream then you die." Them are words to live by.

Have a great weekend. I am all finished with my pity party now (Flashdance saved me from the pit of despair!!). Thanks for all the nice comments.

In the Pit

Remember my perfect job? The one that I was so good at? Well, my attempt at a career was short-lived.

Two weeks after starting, the company has closed its doors and I am officially laid off. I never even got paid for the two weeks that I worked or my expenses.

I am not too embarassed to admit that I cried this morning when I got the call. I feel worse for my co-worker because he is the sole support for his family AND he has a multitude of health issues.

It just sucks. I loved what I was doing. And, I was good at it. And, I had the contacts. Of course, my "glass if half full" hubby is saying, "there are lots of opportunities out there and you will find something else."

This job had really boosted my self-esteem. I lost 5 lbs. My hair looked better being employed. Really, it did. Now, I feel like I am in the pit of despair. Depressed. My fair locks are getting limper as I type.

Warning: Major Cheese Ahead

Whilst enjoying unpacking my boxes (insert sarcastic tone here), I came across a box full of old photos of the boys. The oldest when he was a mere tot of 7 or so, along with old sports teams photos from the various boys at various times in their lives.

It struck me that to an outsider, the boys (in the photos) would be hard to tell apart when they were young. They were all tow-headed, similar smiles and such that to anyone else would look alike. Then it occurred to me that I would never confuse them, in photos or in person. In fact, I could pick them out with my eyes shut. Because I could pick them out by their smell.

Yes! You could put a blindfold over my eyes and I could tell my children apart just by their smell. Or pick them out in a room of 100 kids just by their own individual fragrance.

You all know my mutant power is my sense of smell. But, I would think that other parents could do this party trick too.

Today is my middle son's 14th birthday. Here he is kicking back on a recent camp out. When I said good-night to him last night it was with extra huge hugs and kisses, since it was the last time for me to see him as 13. God, did 13 smell good last night. I'm sure 14 will too, I just always feel so melancholy seeing my boys grow up so fast.

I am well aware that I am living the best days of my life right now. I am smelling the roses and appreciating my life every step of the way...but it is still speeding past.

Aaaaahhhhhh!!!!!!

Note to self: Do not move ever again.

I know there is a certain amount of pain and suffering that must be endured with a change of address but somehow in the interim between moves, I manage to forget just how painful that suffering can be.

Our move has not been without its hitches. Like, my wood floors were not finished yet so now my new house is full of dust. We covered the furniture with plastic and didn't bring everything from the old house but still, its a mess. They keep saying I will "love" my wood floors when this is all finished. I highly doubt I will ever worship my floors enough to make up for this. I am sure they will look nice and I should be grateful. Whatever. And, please don't tell me how my builder should have had this done before....trust me, you do not want to get me started.

Then the hubs and I thought we were being really smart by using blue painter's tape and putting down brown paper to protect the stairs. Well, we discovered today that the tape that isn't supposed to remove a finish, removed the varnish from the stairs. Now, I will have to have the whole staircase redone. It makes me want to throw up just typing that on here.

Other than all of that, we love the house. Its just the whole "box up your crap and move it" that I hate. Right now the old house is empty except for the crap. You know what I mean, that back closet with the games you never play, and pictures you don't hang anymore. That kitchen cabinet where you store the George Foreman grill and cake pans in shapes you knew you would only use once but can't bring yourself to throw away. Yeah, the really fun stuff to move.

My new job? I am loving it so far. The guy that is training me has some health issues so my week has been very short which was great since my house is a chaotic mess. There was really only one day where I actually did what I will be doing. Otherwise, we went and checked on some welders (one was named Frog - he looked like a real keeper), located a barge and went out to lunch. I really shined during the whole "go out to lunch" part. Hey, I know what I am good at.