Good-bye to a Friend

Today started with a shock. I was up early and while working at my computer heard a noise. I thought maybe Sandy, my pug, needed to go outside. When I turned the corner, I saw her staggering. She fell over and I diagnosed it as a seizure. She'd had one before about a year ago.

I applied my "Dog Whisperer" learned calm and assertive energy, so as not to alarm her. I placed a towel under her head, moved her to the tile and placed paper towels under her rear in case she lost control of her bowels. Which she did. What I deemed a seizure went on for 10 minutes and I began to grow concerned, waiting for her eyes to refocus and her body to relax. I waited for her to grow more aware that I was there and that everything was going to be all right.

I am used to caring for her. I saved her almost four years ago from the pound. She had been hit by a car. She had a broken pelvis and a messed up right shoulder. I carried her everywhere for 3 weeks before her body began to mend and she started to live a normal dog life again. I initially said I would foster but after just one day, I knew she belonged to me. We bonded in that special way of patient and nurse, and she has always wanted to be the closest to me (we have Kipper and Bruno too). She wasn't the smartest of the three but she loved me beyond anything else.

We never knew how old she was. I would guess 7 or 8 now. I would love to know her story before she came to me but it's a mystery.

So, this morning, I cared for her, like I did before. But this time she didn't mend. She stopped breathing, she gasped, her leg muscles thrust one more time and then she was still. I called to her, I rubbed her, but I couldn't bring her back. She quite literally died in my arms.

My 14 year old and I dug a hole in the backyard in the rain and the cold. I don't remember feeling the cold. I don't really remember noticing the rain. The hubs is out of town so it was up to us to put Sandy to rest properly. The youngest was beside himself sobbing and sobbing.

Two dear friends came over and helped me. One made sure the hole was large enough and the other as a source of strength. Then they helped me carry Sandy one final time.

I wrapped her carefully in two towels. She looked like she was sleeping. Just yesterday, she was playing, eating and fine. All I can think is it was some sort of stroke.

I already miss her pug snuffle.