Monday, July 31, 2006

If You Really Want to Make Me Mad

Have you ever had this happen? You are going along thinking everything in your life at the moment is going well just to find out that someone/friend is mad at you for something you did months ago? (is that a girl or a boy MAD monkey??? Can't tell!)

I have had this come up at various times in my life and it never ceases to amaze me. Why do these so-called friends never just ask me at the time, "Were you serious?" or "When you said BLANK this is how it made me feel." Give me the opportunity to either explain or apologize. Don't nurse a grudge for months!

I have a sharp tongue. My TRUE friends know that I would never, ever do anything to knowingly hurt them. I have had some of my closest friends since high school so I don't feel that all the fault lies with me. But I am willing to share the load and would totally apologize and assure someone I was kidding or whatever.

What I have noticed is that there are people out there in the world who are WAITING for some one to look at them wrong, or say something just the wrong way so they can be all overly-sensitive about it and then hold it in for months before they ever say anything.

I do not have time for these people. If you want to be that sensitive then please do it around someone else. I will only disappoint you eventually.

I had this happen recently and it totally stunned me. The person who "thinks I am mad at her" is a person with an equally quick sense of humor and sarcastic. She is the last person I would think would take something purposely the wrong way. I refuse to acknowledge it and even the evening that it happened ( I was joking AND there was wine involved) another person told her that I was just kidding.

It took several months of her avoiding me and giving me the cold shoulder before I ever even noticed (see how clueless I am!) and then I asked someone else what the deal was. Boom. Got my answer and I was stunned.

Fun weekend at the Frio. Except for the whole moth migration/invasion. My car was disgustingly covered with moth guts. We were staying out in the country and yes, a Longhorn cow even got into our yard. I am trying to post a pic but for some reason it isn't uploading. Just imagine, the hubs waving a red plastic dinner plate at the cow in his attempt to be a matador and drive it out of the gate.


  • I lost a friendship with someone who brought up beefs she had with me that she'd been hanging on to for a long time. A LONG TIME.

    It sucks.

    By Anonymous mamatulip, at 7/31/2006 5:58 PM  

  • I had someone hold onto a bad feeling for a year. And then she blasted me for it. When I reacted strongly, she said I should forgive her. She wanted forgiveness immediately but was more than willing to harbor anger for me for 12 months.

    By Anonymous wordgirl, at 7/31/2006 7:52 PM  

  • I haven't had that experience, I don't think.... no.... waaaaiiiit, yes! There was this one thing one time, but my good friend quit being a child and told me what I'd done. She was right, I apologized and did my best to make it up to her. I guess that wasn't really the same, then, was it?

    And what the hell is wrong with that monkey's weiner/'gina? It looks like there used to be something there and then that something got torn out. Maybe that's why he/she is yelling? "Hey! Who stole my genitals?"

    By Blogger Mignon, at 7/31/2006 9:22 PM  

  • Girl monkey. UGLY girl monkey.

    I am the clueless one- and I piss people off all the time, too.

    Can't wait to see the red-plastic-dinner-plate-as-cape.

    By Anonymous Sharla, at 7/31/2006 9:23 PM  

  • I've had something like this happen to me only once. I blogged about it way back last summer . . maybe August or September, if you want to read the whole story.
    Sorry about that . .

    By Blogger Renee, at 7/31/2006 10:29 PM  

  • I completely agree that there just isn't time for people like that. There was a time in my younger years where it would have upset me to no end knowing or even worrying that there was a possibility I had accidently hurt someones feelings. I would actually lay in bed reviewing conversations from an evening just to be sure I hadn't said anything that might have been taken wrong. well not anymore baby! I am a nice person, sarcastic at times, but a genuinely nice person. If someone is hurt by something I say in jest or with sarcasim and chooses to hold a grudge rather then just laying it on the line right bad, so sad. Don't have time for ya.

    I, by the way, am one of those friends Debbie has had since high school and she is a darn good friend to have!!

    P.S. Miss ya Debbie! Any talk of a 25th reunion?

    By Anonymous Carol, at 7/31/2006 11:06 PM  

  • I'm going through the same exact situation with my sister in law. She has been down right hostile for the last year and a half, and recently she took some tiny "infraction" and has used it as a justification for not speaking to us.

    What she doesn't realize is that I am perfectly happy to not deal with her! And what's more, when she needs something in a few months and wants to pretend like nothing happened, she's not getting away with it this time. I'm making her suffer the natural consequences of her actions.

    When somebody pisses me off, I do one of two things.

    If it really bothers me, I confront them about it. After I've calmed down, yes, but I do speak to them.

    OR I get over it!!

    I don't nurse a grudge just for the sake of it.

    I do, however, leave long, rambly ass comments that really should be emails! :-)

    By Blogger Type (little) a, at 8/01/2006 7:23 AM  

  • Life it too damn short!! I am a reformed grudge holder and I can personally speak to the fact that it takes a huge amount of effort to maintain your anger for any amount of time. Its taken 40+ years for me to learn to let things go (except for that one thing with my mother-in-law in 1985) and I have so much more free time and I'm a much happier person. Holding a grudge poisons your soul. I've also found that maintaining a friendship with someone who holds a grudge takes more time than its worth. I is just too damn short.

    By Blogger ****Moodlepie*****, at 8/01/2006 9:01 AM  

  • I had a roommate who, when we moved out and parted ways, wouldn't talk to me for MONTHS after because of some clueless thing I overlooked at move-out time. Once I finally asked her what was bugging her, she unloaed on me and I was like, "Why didn't you just say something about this at the time? It wasn't intentional!" I figure, if someone's not willing to give me the clue and stew over their anger for months, they can just get over it or die torqued off. Life is to short to harbor grudges, or to deal with the baggage of people who do.

    By Blogger The Queen Mama, at 8/01/2006 12:13 PM  

  • Well, I'm just glad it ain't just me.

    By Blogger DebbieDoesLife, at 8/01/2006 12:20 PM  

  • Heh. In 2003, my ex told me I'd apparently said something to one of his friends in 1999 (!!) that she'd been upset about, so much so that she thought she might not want to know me. Wrong on so many levels. Like, why didn't said friend mention it at the time, since I thought I was on my best behavior and never would've knowingly said something hurtful? And why didn't my ex say something about it back then, instead of waiting a few years?? I told him I'm not everyone's mommy and to grow a pair. (Okay, not exactly in those words, but mostly.) ;^)

    By Blogger B.E.C.K., at 8/01/2006 1:07 PM  

  • It looks like a girl monkey in the process of having a queef.

    I hate hate hate prolonged grudges. It's pointless and childish. And you're right, there isn't any time for that.

    I want to see the pictures of the longhorn!!

    By Blogger Tink, at 8/01/2006 1:27 PM  

  • I decided a long time ago that if someone didn't want to like me or just spit out the so-called problem, then I just don't care. I barely have time to shave both legs on the same day, so why should I waste my time worrying about things like that.

    By Blogger Wendy, at 8/01/2006 2:43 PM  

  • I 'had' a girlfriend in high school, who got all bent out of shape, because she saw me talking to her boyfriend at a basketball game. She thought I was telling him something about her. Then I moved to a different city. She wouldn't even talk to me in college nor at any of our high school reunions. I even sent her a 'I'm sorry' letter... and it wasn't even my FAULT! We had been friends since we were 6! See what boys will do to a friendship!

    I'm with the rest. I don't have time to worry about those kinds of things anymore.

    By Blogger Brenda, at 8/01/2006 9:20 PM  

  • I hear you! Usually I'll confront someone with an "are you mad about something?" if they pull that cold shoulder stuff. And getting it out in the open works pretty well to either clear the air or let the person know you don't play that.

    By Anonymous TB, at 8/02/2006 7:46 AM  

  • In-laws. I really wish I could blog about it, but they read me. Suffice it to say, they set our relationship back to square one through their passive-aggressiveness and disingenuousness. I don't have time for that shit, and I said as much to them. We've "started over", but it's still in the back of my mind, which prevents me from really getting past it.

    By Anonymous mothergoosemouse, at 8/04/2006 7:10 PM  

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