Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Live Life Like Chuck

My two oldest boys lately have been giggling away and retelling all these Chuck Norris jokes for the last few days.

Chuck Norris is famous for several things. Especially here in Texas, he is a god. He became famous for being an American dude good at martial arts and his roundhouse kick. Then he started making movies but I discovered him when I was preggo with #3. The hubs and I spent a lot of time at home with the other two kids just watching my bump grow.

We both got hooked on the t.v. show "Walker Texas Ranger." It came on Saturday night and it never failed that the hubby and I would look at each other and say, "We are truly sad that we are home every Saturday night AND watch this show." But we watched. There is something about Chuck Norris. You cannot look away.

WTR was a very predictable show. It was basically a set up to make Chuck look good. We knew that every week Walker's buddy CD was going to get the shit kicked out of him. I went to Ft. Worth once and went into the White Horse Saloon where they hung out on the show. Its a real place and let me tell you the Celebrity Vibes were just tangible (not!).

You may have seen Chuck and Christie Brinkley pushing the Total Gym piece of crap, uh, I mean work out equipment. This is because he is a god and can do anything. She was a demi-god of a super model.

So, now that you know who he is here are a few of the jokes (there are hundreds of these on the internet!)

Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".

Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.

If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down.

and my current favorite!

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.


  • At my daughter's karate studio, the first thing you see when you walk in the door is a large framed photograph of her instructor standing next to Chuck at some karate convention.

    He's big in New England too.

    By Blogger The Gradual Gardener, at 3/22/2006 9:15 AM  

  • I've never ever understood the attraction or appeal of this guy.

    By Blogger wordgirl, at 3/22/2006 1:39 PM  

  • I like him because he seems like a nice normal guy who could totally kick your ass.

    By Anonymous Sharla, at 3/22/2006 1:44 PM  

  • We call Quinn Walker Texas Baby. Because he tries to walk and looks ridiculous.
    But, hey, Chuck? Can you come pull the broken basketball hoop out of our driveway? It's stuck in cement...

    By Blogger Mignon, at 3/22/2006 4:40 PM  

  • I never realized that the word "manslaughter" contains the word "laughter."

    By Blogger Arabella, at 3/23/2006 8:09 AM  

  • My son tells the same jokes and his current favorite is:

    The boogey man checks his closet every night for Chuck Norris.

    By Blogger Trish, at 3/23/2006 10:52 AM  

  • Two words..................


    By Anonymous Carol, at 3/23/2006 9:05 PM  

  • I like Chuck, but the jokes...uh, they just ain't right....

    By Blogger Ditsy Chick, at 3/23/2006 10:38 PM  

  • Have you seen the clip making the rounds of the internet of Chuck Norris HIMSELF telling these jokes? Hilarious!

    By Blogger Brooke, at 3/24/2006 1:23 AM  

  • Have you seen the website devoted to those jokes?

    "The chief export of Chuck Norris is Pain."

    By Anonymous sarcastic journalist, at 3/24/2006 9:18 AM  

  • Yes the show was corny and predictable.

    When I moved out to LA from H-town (by myself) I left everything at home - girlfriend, family, friends - I was excited to be out here - but fairly homesick in a way as well.

    Walker Texas Ranger was still on though and i did watch it religiously - mostly for the opening credits and that stupid song - because it was all about Texas!

    "cuz the eyes of the Ranger are upon you...."

    Sometimes corn works.

    By Blogger Rock, at 3/25/2006 2:31 AM  

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