Thursday, December 29, 2005

The Swing Set

Am I the only one who thought that swinging meant dancing?? When I was younger and would hear the term, "Oh, they're real swingers!" Silly me, I thought that meant they were either a: really cool and hip or b: dancing. Yes, I thought swinging meant some kind of square dancing.

Imagine my shock and surprise when someone informed me what swinging really was. I have already determined that me and my very boring husband are the only ones in the world NOT to make a sex tape or have tattooes---but are we also the only people in the world NOT swinging??

Oprah had people on the other day who do this. They visit nightclubs that are all about swinging in the door with one partner and swinging right out with another. One woman is a Brownie leader. She cheerfully announced her sexual prowess and then when Oprah asked her "What are the other mom's of the Brownies going to think?" She just shrugged and laughed. I really wonder if people realize that when they are on t.v. that MILLIONS of people are watching you (and yes, they can hear you too!) and guess what??? Some of those people probably live in your city or even your neighborhood!

Here is my fear if I ever ingested enough crack to be in a swinging situation. Don't you just know the woman would be really cute and the man would be big and fat with onion breath?? Yeah, I know that's what would happen so thats why I ain't doing it.


  • Actually, swing dancing is a popular dance from about the 1930s, I think. And the phrase you are talking about did mean that they were "cool". From my understanding, it wasn't until the 1970s when people started swinging the way it means now. I know some swingers, and I was even invited, and I was like, er-uh-I'm chaste. Or something. Actually, it was the girl and she wanted me to swing off with some chicks. I don't swing that way... ok, there is another swing.

    By Anonymous Nilla, at 12/29/2005 9:35 PM  

  • Yeah, like I want to see another woman boinking my husband. Sorry, gonna pass on that.

    And are these people that desperate to go on TV that they'd admit to swinging? Do they not realize that EVERYONE watches Oprah???

    By Anonymous sarcastic journalist, at 12/29/2005 10:44 PM  

  • I watched that show and I was inspired.

    I think we might try it.

    Then I'll start a blog about it.

    By Anonymous Y, at 12/30/2005 12:05 AM  

  • I'm going to draw the line at tattoos and sex tapes. I have been to nude beaches and once, a nude bar in Key West that I figured out was a swinger bar after we were there for an hour. I'm a little slow on the uptake :o)

    By Anonymous TB, at 12/30/2005 8:34 AM  

  • Just a guess, but if you've ingested enough crack to consider this as an option, you'd probably pass on onion breath and do the wife.

    But I could be wrong, maybe there's not enough crack in the world for that to happen.

    By Anonymous Candy, at 12/30/2005 9:21 AM  

  • There was a swingers club in Portland near our house and sometimes I would cruise by just to get a visual on what kind of people go that way. I didn't know there were so many couples in the world that looked like Roseanne Barr and Tom Arnold. With mullets. On both the guy and gal.

    By Blogger Mignon, at 12/30/2005 9:53 AM  

  • The Man and I are vaguely aware of a couple that are rumored to swing. Every time we go to a NYE party or superbowl party, they are there. And we are always saying under our breath "don't make eye contact don't make eye contact"

    By Blogger Shrinking Violet, at 12/30/2005 10:28 AM  

  • NO THANK YOU VERY MUCH! Candy's right. There isn't enough crack--or anything else for that matter--to make me want to do that.

    By Blogger wordgirl, at 12/30/2005 10:39 AM  

  • I feel the need to mention: I DONT share well with others! This goes for partners as well as M&Ms and fuzzy sweaters. I know a couple people who have swang on the swinger swings before. Haha Say THAT 10 times fast. Inevitably it ruined their relationships. Well duh.

    By Blogger Tink, at 12/30/2005 10:48 AM  

  • Hey Debbie - Thanks for the post.

    I once dated a swinger and DIDN'T EVEN KNOW IT! Okay, so it was only two dates, but we did mess around some. On our second 'date', he met me at our favorite dance place (where we met the first time) and let me in on the little secret that his 'friend' that always seemed to be at the same bar was not his neighbor, it was his wife and she was on the prowl for another guy as we spoke. I flipped out, decked him and left the bar. I saw him a few times after that, but he never approached me again.

    By Blogger #1 Dancer, at 12/30/2005 12:24 PM  

  • Ummmm...yeah. I also dated a swinger without knowing it. That ended REAL fast.

    By Blogger Brooke, at 12/30/2005 12:27 PM  

  • #1 Dancer, I WANT TO DECK SOMEONE!! I would pay cash money to see that! Good for you!

    By Blogger Shrinking Violet, at 12/30/2005 1:05 PM  

  • My mom told me about that Oprah and she said all the people of the show were gross. I just could not imagine, even if it sounded fun (BTW, me + naked = no fun and hubby + another naked woman = divorce court)aren't these people worried about STDs?

    brooke and #1 dancer - what the hell were these guys thinking? What asses.

    By Blogger Ditsy Chick, at 12/31/2005 12:00 AM  

  • Oh and I love the new template, especially the color...very soothing.

    By Blogger Ditsy Chick, at 12/31/2005 12:01 AM  

  • I'm always amazed when people air their secrets on television. The very sad thing is that this is a Brownie "mom." Think back when you were a kid -- how much would you have liked listening to your parents tell the whole world that not only do THEY have sex, they have sex with a whole lot of other people.

    By Blogger CISSY, at 12/31/2005 9:18 AM  

  • maybe she can help the brownies earn a special patch.

    By Anonymous sarcastic journalist, at 12/31/2005 10:13 AM  

  • If you ever want to see what happens when "swinging goes wrong" checkout the movie 'Zebra Lounge' on cable one night if you run into it.

    By Blogger Rock, at 1/05/2006 9:27 PM  

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