Thursday, December 22, 2005

Sex, Lies & Videotape

I have made a discovery. My husband and I are the only people in the world who have NOT made a sex tape of ourselves.

Paris and Pam have theirs and now Brittney Spears is threatening to sue a tabloid over that fact that she may or may not have made one with the skank Kevin Fedderline (don't you know that kids in school had fun with that last name!). And of course, all of you have yours, I'm sure.

What's up with this? I don't like myself in pictures on a regular day with my hair done and dressed cute. I sure ain't gonna like myself nekkid on a video.

At an informal polling at dinner last night (think 5 star restaurant, large round table with 4 other couples) the people we were with denied making one (and I am sure were so glad I conducted this poll - what's dinner conversation without discussing sex tapes???). I am suspecting one of the couples lied. They were very quiet and she was wearing fishnet stockings and a very short skirt. Duh! Fishnet stockings = sextape.

I don't like to feel that I anything has passed me by in this life but this is one thing that I may have to just let pass. Oh yeah. We are also the only people in the world who don't have tatooes.


  • No sex tape, no tattoos. Maybe you and I are the last of a dying breed?

    By Blogger Arabella, at 12/22/2005 7:13 AM  

  • Nope. I'm right behind you both in that boat. I would never make a sex tape unless I could airbrush and tweak every frame. I used to design tattoos and have yet to get one. I can't think of a single thing I'll still want on my body when I'm 83.

    By Blogger Tink, at 12/22/2005 7:58 AM  

  • I have not made a sex tape with my husband, but I do have two tattoos. Additionally, we both made sex tapes with our exes. And you can bet I made sure that thing was smashed into a million pieces after our divorce. Never again. It's not even fun or sexy to watch... just made me feel all creepy and squirmy.

    By Anonymous TB, at 12/22/2005 8:14 AM  

  • No sex tapes or tattoos here, either. Does this mean we are the last of a dull and dying breed? I hope not!

    By Anonymous tlc, at 12/22/2005 8:23 AM  

  • No tape or 'toos here either. perhaps we should start a club!

    I like most how you spelled it "nekkid"...

    By Blogger Crazy MomCat, at 12/22/2005 8:41 AM  

  • Obviously, most of my readers are leading as sedate a life as I am. Except for TB of that girl's got some stories to tell I am sure.

    By Blogger DebbieDoesLife, at 12/22/2005 8:51 AM  

  • I have one teeny tattoo, no sex tapes, but lots of naked pictures of my husband. When we first started living together I used to surprise him by ripping back the shower curtain and snapping away (yeah, isn't that a barrell of laughs). It was funny until one of the close ups ended up in our junk drawer, then in the hands of his mother when she was looking for a rubber band.

    By Blogger Mignon, at 12/22/2005 9:55 AM  

  • I made a sex tape with an ex that was left in a camcorder that was later stolen out of my car ... so god knows where it is now. I don't even want to think about it. Lalalala!

    But they really aren't sexy. Take the discomfort you feel seeing yourself on film clothed, and then times it by a thousand. Ugh!

    I have two tattoos, one small, and one biggie. Me & TB are in the Bad Girls' Club, I think!

    By Blogger Mrs. Harridan, at 12/22/2005 11:03 AM  

  • Yeah um, I don't need to see myself looking like that. I freak if I catch a glimpse of the act in the mirror.

    Luckily, pregnancy reduces the act to Null so ha! I don't have to freak ANYMORE!

    By Blogger Sarcastic Journalist, at 12/22/2005 11:04 AM  

  • No sex tape and no tats. If I had a tat, it would have elvolved into a world map, because of all of the stretch marks I am sporting from my 3 children....ooooh, sexy!

    If we had made a sex tape, it would have had to been filmed at a high speed, so that when you watched in slo-mo, it actually looked like it lasted 30 seconds. I'm just sayin'....

    By Blogger Ditsy Chick, at 12/22/2005 11:12 AM  

  • No sex tapes. No tattoos...yet. We thought about doing identical ones (at the base of the spine) for our next BIG anniversary. The jury is still out on that one, though. My navel has been pierced for the last 6 years, however.

    By Blogger wordgirl, at 12/22/2005 11:41 AM  

  • Wow. I'm going to dinner with you some time. No lack of interesting conversation!
    (But nope, no tapes, no tats and a husband who wishes I had both.)

    By Blogger Brooke, at 12/22/2005 12:01 PM  

  • Hubby and I should make one for when we need a really good laugh. Sags and stretchmarks and scrotums, oh my!

    By Blogger The Queen Mama, at 12/22/2005 2:15 PM  

  • Does it count if you once made a tape of yourself...em...pleasuring yourself...and sent it across the country for a guy you only met on the internet?


    OK good then I never did that.

    By Anonymous Candy, at 12/23/2005 8:16 PM  

  • Gee. I'm inked all over. And I always spell it "nekkid" too, cuz I think it's funny. My ex never got a tattoo till he was 30 (because I harrassed him) and now he's a bonafide jerk biker on a Harley and is now drawing all over himself. No sex tape, although he tried. We DID take Polaroids, which I burned. Once, he also sent me a nekkid happy weenie shot and sent it to me on my phone and so I showed it to my best friend. She was impressed. *hee* I deleted it though.

    By Anonymous Nilla, at 12/27/2005 10:28 AM  

  • Did it.....watched it.....laughed our asses off.....destroyed the monstrosity immediately. I don't reccommed it....we were young and still grossed out by how we looked, God forbid we should see oursleves now!! YIKES!!! AS for tats, none of that, but I did have my belly button pierced a couple of years ago.

    By Anonymous Carol, at 12/28/2005 2:01 PM  

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