Thursday, October 20, 2005

Feeling My Way Around

Why is it some people just know exactly what they want to do with their life? Did they get a book or some special message when they were growing up? Was I absent the day it was handed out?

What's funny is I still feel like the me I was in my early 20's. Kind of feeling around trying different things on to see if they "fit" or if I like them. Except that now I am early 40's and I still don't know what I want to "do."

Okay, being a famous novelist and appearing on Good Morning America and Oprah are on my list. But I need to finish the famous novel first AND sell it. Really, my chances of winning the lottery are more likely.

I envy people who just know who they are and what they want to do. I am speaking more of women. These are probably the same women who loved having babies and raising them and felt so fulfilled. I love my kids too but I cannot say that the time when they were babies "fulfilled" me. More like wore me out, tore me down, made me more insecure than ever....shall I go on?

Nah, I guess I won't. But, maybe I will run up to the corner store and buy that lottery ticket.


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