Man Law

Lately, I have run into this term: Man Law. I believe it is a relatively new term in our society. My college son uses it. Guy friends I have use it. There is even a beer commercial that is utilizing this term.

Here are a few Man Laws that I have learned:

1. A guy can't date his friend's old girlfriend.
2. A guy doesn't hug with two arms. Instead use a more one armed side hug thing. This is to make everyone aware that you are full of heterosexual manliness.
3. If your buddy cheats on his wife, Man Law dictates that you deny knowing, ever knowing or even thinking you ever knew.
4. If a woman comments that guy #2 is handsome, Man Law says that guy #1 must act like he couldn't even pick the dude out in a line-up, let alone make the observation that guy #2 is nice looking.
5. Lemons, limes or fruit of any kind is ever allowed in a Man's beer.
6. When watching sports, a Man must always root for a team. He cannot be undecided.
7. A man cannot wash his hair in the sink. Seriously, have you EVER seen a man wash his hair in the sink?
8. (thank my son for this one) If a man farts and doesn't admit it, he might as well be a housewife.

In the interest of equal time, I tried to come up with Woman Laws. Here we go: (please feel free to add to my list)

1. A woman never reveals how many pairs of shoes she actually owns.
2. A woman never reveals to a man how much she actually paid for any of those shoes.
3. A woman never reveals how much she actually weighs. If someone has the gall to ask, then all rules are off and it is perfectly acceptable to shave off 5 - 10 lbs.
4. A woman may play the menstrual cycle/period/cramps card anytime she wants to avoid something like; cooking, cleaning, work, driving, showering or sex.
5. Woman law states that the answer "I don't remember" is perfectly acceptable to most questions asked by her family such as "Have you seen my shoes? hammer? glasses? keys? phone? books? etc. etc. even if you know the answer.

Gads, there must be more Woman Laws.....