You Gotta Have Friends

Do you believe that friendships are forever or that people come into our lives for a reason, a season or just to drive us crazy?

I'm in a transitional point in my life. Things are changing. I can't say that I like it. Not sure that I can do anything about it though.

Let me explain:

I view most friendships as reciprocal in some fashion. I give, you take (come on, you know I'm a giver!), then I take and you give. If you think about it, all friendships are based on this. It can be as simple as "that person makes me laugh" or "that person carpools with me to get the kids to school" or "I work with that person and enjoy them while I am there."

You notice I am purposefully leaving out family relationships. We don't get a choice in those. You are simply stuck with all that dysfunction. But, when the person is not related to you by blood or marriage, its a choice.

I meet so many people everyday that I really like. The problem is I can't be super great friends with all of them. Some of them live too far away so socializing would be tough (and nowadays, you have to rate friendships on how much gas $$ would that cost me?? The married people's version of "sponge-worthy")

What I hate is when you have been really close to someone and circumstances cause the friendship to drift. Maybe your kids aren't as good of friends as they used to be, or maybe one of you changes jobs so you no longer see this coworker/friend like you once did. Maybe they get divorced. You would think that a divorce wouldn't affect your one on one relationship BUT IT DOES.

When I look back, I had some great friendships that have drifted away now. High school, college, then the neighborhood playgroup. We worried about feeding our kids right, changing diapers, keeping our houses in some semblance of order, and not losing our sanity at this point in our lives. Then I went through the "sales" period, I like to call it. You know, when everyone began selling something from home - candles, jewelry, cooking paraphanelia - we all got together just to see each other and connect again.

Happily, I haven't drifted away from all my best buddies. There are certain ones who are my shelter in any storm - be it a raging hurricane, or just a blustery day. There are certain friends who are worth the effort. The friendship is no longer based on kids, work or anything else. Just a mutual liking and understanding. You know that they would BE THERE. No matter what. And, they love you even at your most unloveable. These are the types of friendships that make life rich and wonderful.

If I was a tree, my immediate family would be my roots. But, my friends? They are all those glorious, glossy, green leaves.