Friday, May 16, 2008

Worth Clipping

I have discovered something quite troubling. It has actually troubled me for a while. It was something best not spoken aloud or in public.

Collections. All people seem to have this trait in common. We all are collectors of something. Spoons, teacups, stamps, coins, guns....the list is limitless. My husband admitted to me while we were dating that he had a rare edition of Penthouse magazine. It was the first one to NOT have staples in the pin up poster. I'm quite sure my retirement $$ is sitting in my garage in his locker from college.

My children went through the Pokemon phenomenon. "Mom, this is a RARE card!" Again, the money spent on these cards could have easily paid for college. Where are they now? Chewed by the dog, sucked up by the vacuum and thrown in the bottom of the toybox. My children's sole definition of mint is what I give them during church to keep them awake.

I am sure there are more disturbing collections out there but there is one that has reared its ugly head several times in my life.

We have a group of friends who we have had dinner with every other month for over 8 years now. Many times we play games or have a theme. One night, years ago, the theme was a game. The game was to turn in ahead of time two things that no one would ever guess about you. There are 6 couples in this group. The time came to read aloud and try and guess who had submitted what and it was quite surprising.

I was the loudest gasp when this "truth" was read: "I used to have a collection of my own finger and toenails." OMG! Who would do that? Who would do that I am eating dinner with....or by???

A few more truths later and this was read: "I used to own a collection of my finger and toenails." WTF??? Two of my friends in this small group turned in the same answer!

I had never heard of this or EVER felt compelled to keep my clippings upon their removal. Since then, I have had this aberration occur at least 3 more times. Once was even by one of my own children! Upon clipping, he asked to keep them for "his collection."

No, no way, no how, was my firm response. I kept a lock of hair from each of my children from their first haircut. I do not care to scrapbook or memorialize toe jam. So, the big question - what is the weirdest thing you ever collected and/or did you have your own collection of clippings?

I will go first - I had an extensive collection of unicorns. Until some guy told me they were all phallic symbols.


  • Pinecones. From all around the world. The sad thing is? Is that I can tell you from which country I picked them up. I can totally tell them apart. I'm really sad about one I had to leave behind in Italy. Rome to be exact. It was the size of a softball and I picked it up next to the sidewalk under some random pine trees. It was as if I'd won the Oscar of pinecone collecting! However after carrying it around for over an hour, I started to have an allergic reaction to it. Non-stop sneezing, eyes streaming,,,,,,and a long way from the hotel. I had to put it down. I still regret that. I have pinecones from around the US, Wales, the UK, Germany, Italy, France. I have NO idea why I do this. I'm sure I've broken some kind of international law by bringing them back into the us as well. Sigh. Please don't tell,,,,,

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 5/18/2008 12:41 PM  

  • That is so sick! I am grossed out with you!

    Collect...hmmm does scrapbooking supplies that I never completely use count? HA! I'm not a consistent collector unless a family member forces me to be with Xmas knick-knacks and such. My son, however, is a super collector. We have cards, rocks, balls, marbles, stamps, yo-yos, you name it! Except nails that is...we have to draw the line somewhere!

    By Blogger Crazy MomCat, at 5/18/2008 8:04 PM  

  • Toenails?! Ugh. What do I collect? Hmmm . . I'm not really a collector. You have me thinking now. I like frog things, but I don't really have a 'collection', so I guess my answer would be 'nothing'!

    By Blogger Renee, at 5/18/2008 11:04 PM  

  • I "collected" baseball cards when I was a kid. Actually we sat around on garage floors and traded them with other kids. None of those cards would be any better than "fair" condition now. I sold all of mine a long time ago. I traded a Jackie Robinson baseball card for a comic book. People thought I was nuts to give up that baseball card. The comic book (which I still have)? Amazing Fantasy #15.

    By Blogger Tank, at 5/19/2008 1:35 PM  

  • I used to collect music boxes when I was younger. Now, I cannot think of anything that I collect except stories of my crazy kids.

    By Blogger J. Hi, at 5/19/2008 4:04 PM  

  • Back in high school I had a friend named Debra Jean that gave me a coffee mug with dancing pink pigs ringing the outside of the mug. It was adorable and before I knew it anytime anyone gave me a gift it was pig related. The collection got a little out of control and people began to talk. I have kept my pigs but now I only display a few. Now I am only actively collecting Day of the Dead folk art from my Mexican vacations.

    By Anonymous Angie, at 5/19/2008 5:37 PM  

  • Debra Jean???? Who might that have been?

    By Blogger DebbieDoesLife, at 5/19/2008 6:01 PM  

  • When you first said "collections" I thought you meant as in debt collections, and my palms started sweating.

    Let's not do that again, ok.

    By Blogger Candy, at 5/20/2008 9:03 AM  

  • Old school textbooks and reading anthologies. Old elementary school readers.

    By Anonymous apathy lounge, at 5/21/2008 1:40 PM  

  • BOOKS! In high school I also briefly flirted with collecting teddy bears. Thankfully, that was a short-lived phase.

    By Blogger Jess Riley, at 5/21/2008 4:19 PM  

  • Shoes..........I collect shoes.....lots and lots of shoes!! Every girl loves a new pair of shoes (they always fit no matter how bloated you are!) Finger and toe nail collections are just yucky.

    By Anonymous Carol, at 5/21/2008 8:05 PM  

  • Well, I used to collect stamps. But now I collect stationery. I have tons and tons of it. And unfortunately, not enough people to write real letters to!

    By Blogger teahouse, at 5/22/2008 12:30 AM  

  • I collect scrapbooking supplies. I cannot say I use them, but I buy them, they fill up a large portion of my stair closet, I add to it from time to time.

    Never even thought about keeping my toenail or fingernail clippings.

    By Blogger Denice, at 5/22/2008 4:09 PM  

  • Ewwww! What are they collecting them FOR? I collect old keys. Hoop is currently collecting Garbage Pail Kids. He's convinced there's money in it. *Eye roll* I'm convinced he's a dork.

    By Blogger Tink, at 5/23/2008 8:29 AM  

  • I always wanted to collect things (tiny dog statues when I was a kid; teacups or salt/pepper shakers as an adult), but never really had the dedication. (Well, I collect dust around the house, I suppose!) A friend of mine, however, collects everything: watches, clocks, model "woodie" cars, toy action figures...the list goes on. She finally had a baby and I think some of the collection activity slowed down a little, but not completely. I just find her amusing; she's a totally lovely and generous person, so I try not to make any sarcastic comments about her collecting, although I do find it a little bit unusual. Then again, she probably finds a lot about me unusual, too. ;^)

    By Blogger B.E.C.K., at 5/24/2008 7:56 PM  

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