The Last Word

If you could know how or when you were going to die, would you want to? My answer to that would be no, but I believe I know what would be my last word before I go to meet my Maker.

I had a car accident this week. It ended up being minor, but only by sheer luck. When one is traveling at the speed of 60 mph, it is extremely hard to come to a stop and things happen quickly. I was entering our beloved Beltway 8 here in Houston. While accelerating up to the rate (most people do 80 on the beltway - I usually do 65 - 70) I noticed the traffic in the right lane was going slower than 65 and prepared to go around them. Glancing in the side mirror - noted the lane was clear - when I glanced back in front they had all SLAMMED THEIR BRAKES ON! Knowing I could not stop in time, I turned to try and miss the truck in front of me, clipped his bumper and sent him flying across every lane of traffic. He came to a stop up against the center barrier, facing the opposite direction. The stability control in my Sequoia was amazing because I thought I was going to roll but didn't, instead I came to a stop at the next exit. Luckily, we were both okay.

I was talking on my phone when the accident happened. Not sure if the phone played into it - I was fully aware of what happened but this coworker/friend (he wishes to use an alias and thoughtfully provided one for me) "Dick Vixxxen", heard it all. When we spoke later in the day, Dick mentioned how he heard everything. I said, "you heard me screaming?" To which Dick replied, "yeah, the f word!"

Roll back the clock about 10 years: Minor accident - very good friend of mine in the car with me. After the police finished and we drove away, she informed me that when the girl hit me I yelled not only the F word but I decorated it with the word Mother in front.

Here is my concern. I don't really want either derivation to be my last word on earth. I need to start practicing some new ones. Maybe "BINGO!" or "DOMINO!" or what about "HALLELUJAH!" (that might prepare the Big Man Upstairs of my arrival whereupon I am sure to get my mouth washed out with soap!). Suggestions?