Saturday, February 09, 2008

The Last Word

If you could know how or when you were going to die, would you want to? My answer to that would be no, but I believe I know what would be my last word before I go to meet my Maker.

I had a car accident this week. It ended up being minor, but only by sheer luck. When one is traveling at the speed of 60 mph, it is extremely hard to come to a stop and things happen quickly. I was entering our beloved Beltway 8 here in Houston. While accelerating up to the rate (most people do 80 on the beltway - I usually do 65 - 70) I noticed the traffic in the right lane was going slower than 65 and prepared to go around them. Glancing in the side mirror - noted the lane was clear - when I glanced back in front they had all SLAMMED THEIR BRAKES ON! Knowing I could not stop in time, I turned to try and miss the truck in front of me, clipped his bumper and sent him flying across every lane of traffic. He came to a stop up against the center barrier, facing the opposite direction. The stability control in my Sequoia was amazing because I thought I was going to roll but didn't, instead I came to a stop at the next exit. Luckily, we were both okay.

I was talking on my phone when the accident happened. Not sure if the phone played into it - I was fully aware of what happened but this coworker/friend (he wishes to use an alias and thoughtfully provided one for me) "Dick Vixxxen", heard it all. When we spoke later in the day, Dick mentioned how he heard everything. I said, "you heard me screaming?" To which Dick replied, "yeah, the f word!"

Roll back the clock about 10 years: Minor accident - very good friend of mine in the car with me. After the police finished and we drove away, she informed me that when the girl hit me I yelled not only the F word but I decorated it with the word Mother in front.

Here is my concern. I don't really want either derivation to be my last word on earth. I need to start practicing some new ones. Maybe "BINGO!" or "DOMINO!" or what about "HALLELUJAH!" (that might prepare the Big Man Upstairs of my arrival whereupon I am sure to get my mouth washed out with soap!). Suggestions?


  • I'd say your word choice is less embarassing than shouting "Dick Vixxxen"

    Glad you're OK.

    By Blogger Type (little) a, at 2/09/2008 9:56 AM  

  • But what was your last thought? I remember re-ending a car and thinking, "Oh well, I'm going to hit him." A friend told me when he was in an accident, his last thought was, "Oh man, I just bought those burritos!" So what was your last thought?


    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 2/09/2008 9:57 AM  

  • Dear Type: Yes, I couldn't agree more. And, no I do not hang out or work with past porn stars.

    Edge: I think my last thought was "Oh shit, my purse just dumped out all over the floor." Not much of a step up.

    By Blogger DebbieDoesLife, at 2/09/2008 10:08 AM  

  • You crack me up. I'm glad you're OK though.

    See, I think, if there is ANY best time to say the M-F word, right before potentially dying would justify it. Dontcha think? That is really a M-F kind of situation...

    I mean, I really would hope the big guy up there would turn a deaf ear to it, given the circumstances...(grin)

    By Blogger Crazy MomCat, at 2/09/2008 12:15 PM  

  • Wow, I'm glad you're both okay. What a harrowing experience! I think your use of the f-word was very appropriate, given the circumstances. ;)

    By Blogger B.E.C.K., at 2/11/2008 12:47 PM  

  • Holy crap lady, glad you're ok!

    I dunno about you, but I feel like my reflexes are getting worse. Used to be I could talk on the phone, fiddle with the radio and put on my lipstick, all at the same time, and never have a problem. These days, I don't even feel comfortable blinking!

    By Blogger Candy, at 2/11/2008 2:34 PM  

  • WOW!! So glad you okay, my friend. See why I don't drive on these crazy road. But it must be the week for fender benders - or in my case, a large trash company truck (Waste Management) tried to run over my p.u. Thank God I wasn't in it at the time.


    By Blogger nettie-fudge, at 2/12/2008 9:00 AM  

  • I'm glad you're okay.

    I can see myself shouting the f word, or something along the lines of getting drunk tonight!

    By Blogger mamatulip, at 2/12/2008 3:39 PM  

  • I don't think I'll be uttering anything matter HOW I go.

    By Anonymous a. beaverhausen, at 2/13/2008 8:53 AM  

  • I am SO glad you're OK!!

    My Mom is convinced that her last words are going to be, "What the fuck?"

    I think mine are going to be, "Are you sure it's safe?" ;)

    By Blogger Tink, at 2/13/2008 3:45 PM  

  • Wow, that's a scary thing that happened. I'm glad that you and the other guy are ok.

    Hmm..I think I'd probably yell, "Oh, my God!" and then I'd be all set since my last word would be God!

    By Blogger teahouse, at 2/15/2008 10:56 AM  

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