Monday, December 10, 2007

My Dumbass Sighting

The other day, while driving out of my neighborhood, a guy on a motorcycle was in front of me. I recognized him as one of the boys who used to live across from me (when I lived in my old house). He and his twin brother had dropped out of school a couple of years ago (he is maybe 19 now??) and would walk down the street with their charming pit bull to smoke all the time. Not sure what they were smoking but I can imagine...

Well, here I am following one of the boys on his motorcycle. When we hit the main road, he passed the van in front of him. Then I could see him stay in the left passing lane because there was some kind of big farm plowing machine thingy in the right lane and I knew he was planning to pass him too. I was preparing to make my left turn when I noticed something was weird about the kid. That's when I realized he was standing up on the motorcycle on one foot with the other back behind him! Performing the flying camel I believe. I gasped as I turned, realizing that he was going no less than 50 mph while attempting this homage to Evil Knieval.

Just as I turned, he lost control and I watched him do what looked like cartwheels across the road. He went one way and the bike went the other. Of course, by now I am screaming in my car because I just witnessed this horrific accident. Now, I have turned though and can no longer see him. My dilemma: I don't want to see a dead person. But, I am the only person who knows where this kid lives and so can give the address to mail his dumbass remains.

I turned around and went back. Miraculously, he was sitting up on the side of the road. The poor farmer guy was out of his big yellow vehicle and was concerned about the boy. I parked and got out. I asked the kid if I could go to his house and get someone. He said no one was home. He started dry heaving and while he did that I took note of the incredible road rash he now had on both arms. He'd had a leather jacket on but it had come completely off in the wreck. He asked for his phone so farmer and I started looking in the grass.

Farmer: "I don't know what happened."
Farmer: "You are kidding."
Me: "I wish."

We found the phone and pulled the motorcycle remains off the road. I believe the bike suffered more damage then the kid somehow. Then I told him I would take him home if he wanted. So, he got in my car muttering about how his grandpa was going to kill him.

That's when I told him that he was damn lucky to even be alive. And, that if I ever saw him on a motorcycle again, he'd better not be doing was I saw him doing AND he'd better put on a helmet!

Even in the short time we got to his house, he was groaning about his back hurting. I've thought about him over this past week and wondered how he is doing. I hope he realizes that he got a second chance. And, you know what? Not everyone gets that lucky.


  • I see that a lot here in the DFW area. 1 mile wheelies, tricks crap like that. It's proof the helmet law should go back in effect. REaly though, if he had died it would have thinned the gene pool.

    That's just stupid.


    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 12/10/2007 9:02 AM  

  • No way this guy learns anything from this. You can't expect a smart response from someone that stupid.

    If anything he'll embellish the story for his buds, and talk about the hot babe that came to his aid.

    From a 19-year-old, I expect the term MILF will come up.

    By Anonymous Tank, at 12/10/2007 3:51 PM  

  • Do I smell a Darwin award in that kid's future?

    (This reminds me of an incident from my commute to work today...I spied a man in a wheelchair stopped somewhat randomly in the middle of a busy, busy two-lane city street, just waiting for the semis and cars and trucks to pass so he could continue J-walking. Er, rolling.)

    By Blogger Jess Riley, at 12/11/2007 1:22 PM  

  • I saw a loser--er--kid doing something just like that a couple of years ago. Scared the crap out of me.

    By Anonymous AB, at 12/11/2007 7:43 PM  

  • Holy shit. I can't believe how stupid people can be sometimes.

    By Blogger mamatulip, at 12/12/2007 11:38 AM  

  • OMG...I'm glad for both your sake and his that he wasn't more seriously injured.

    Did he recognize you?

    By Blogger teahouse, at 12/13/2007 3:21 PM  

  • *Slaps forehead* He's lucky he didn't end up on the Darwin Awards!!

    By Blogger Tink, at 12/17/2007 3:31 PM  

  • Debbie, I love you for tearing him a new one. What a colossal moron. Not only did he nearly kill himself, but he put other people in danger too.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 12/21/2007 9:38 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home