Oh Christmas Tree!

This year I made a big decision. Our family would have a REAL Christmas tree. I am completely happy with my genuine imitation one and every year enjoyed getting it out of the box. I have several friends who had to extoll the virtues of the real tree. "It just isn't Christmas without a real tree!" "I love the smell!" "Going to pick out the tree is a family tradition!"

I felt like a tradition-less, bad smelling Grinch. But didn't really care.

We finally retired (threw out) the fake tree last year. We went shopping for another but realized that this could be our last year in this house and the house we will be building will have 10 ft. ceilings. I said, "Hey Hubs, let's wait then and we will get a real tree this year! We will finally have a meaningful and happy Christmas!"

Yesterday was the traditional trek to the Christmas tree farm. This is a great place complete with a big blow up slide, a wagon ride to find your tree (for some reason some people felt compelled to drive miles on a wagon when there were the very same trees about 30 ft. away) While we were in church the temp dropped about 15 degrees. Picture my fam in shorts, t-shirts, jacketless. The first trees we looked at cost $100 EACH. I said, "Man, I really didn't plan on spending quite that much." First son, "Let's go to Kroger, they have 'em right there at the grocery store." An astute druid (salesperson) saw us leaving and then told us that the $$$ trees were all imported from up north. The cheaper trees were the ones you have to cut yourself. I gave her a look from my lofty angle atop my super cute clogs, new pale cream cords, and tags just cut off sweater vest. "We aren't really dressed to be lumberjacks." Then I was told I could borrow one of their lumberjacks--his name was Brian.

We finally picked out a tree that hit my $50 goal (and then Brian told me he would give me a good deal - wasn't sure what I was going to have to do amongst the pines for that). So far, no memories made or warm fuzzy feeling in my chest.

My two children who came (the oldest had to stay at college this weekend) spent the ENTIRE time battling each other with sticks they found on the ground.

Me: Could you two stop killing each other long enough to notice that we are PICKING OUT OUR CHRISTMAS TREE?

Brian cut the tree down. I immediately felt very sad and announced, "We killed it." My hubs then gave me an interesting run down on cultivation and the tree was made for that. To which I replied, "Yes, I am sure that cows feel just as grateful."

Once we got the tree home (after my hubs tried to drive into the garage, forgetting the tree was on top of the car!!!!) That was pretty funny actually. We then got to put it up. That's when I thought for sure we would make some memories.....good smell, yes, pine needles all the way from the back door to the formal living....hell of a mess!! I vaccuumed pine needles and picked them up with my fingers all afternoon. We haven't even put the lights on yet. A time in which I feel sure that this little shit of a tree in his anger at having been cut down will proceed to shoot more needles all over my living room.

This will be the first and last year for a REAL tree. By the way, my FRIENDS? Both have artificial trees this year. They acted like they were really giving in, only going to have a half meaningful Christmas, but already I have heard them saying, "It looks really good!" "No mess!" "I got to put it up when I wanted too!" No shit.