Monday, November 28, 2005

Men...And Their Weirdness

Here are some questions that I have about the opposite sex. Can you tell who's been with all four of her menfolk this holiday weekend???

1. Why do men insist upon backing into a parking space? Is it just to show they can?

2. Why do men pee standing up? Is it just to show they can?

3. Why do men not care if they burp or fart in public? Most act like everyone around them should applaud instead of being appalled.

4. Why do women not feel the need to get down on the ground at a family gathering and wrestle?

5. Why is it men do not care if they have a belly yet they can lose the weight in a heartbeat unlike us X chromosomed people?

6. Why is it my mind ponders, worries, and wanders yet when I ask one of my menfolk what they are thinking it is either "nothing" or "I'm hungry."

These are the questions that keep me up at night. My hubby is sound asleep by the way.


  • Why does my husband, when I'm trying to take a picture of my sister and her husband, try to steal the spotlight by lifting up his shirt and balancing a coke can on his increasing belly. This is supposed to be funny? Sigh.

    By Anonymous tlc, at 11/28/2005 6:51 AM  

  • 1. To provide an easier exit.
    2. Yes. Also an excuse to hang on to "the package" for a few minutes.
    3. Unfortunately, the "boys will be boys" thing helped to bring this to fruition. Also the fact that we set the bar so low for boys that burping and farting are now applaudible skills.

    4. Hmmm. Traditionally afraid to show our underwear (if we're in a dress) or mess up our hair. Dogs wrestle all the time with each other, but I don't feel left out of the mix. That's a non-verbal way of communicating. Women prefer words.

    5. That's an unsolved mystery. Women's bodies hang onto the fat, but I don't know why. I've been watching "The Biggest Loser" and it's true there also.

    6. That's an individual thing. Sometimes it really means that there's TOO MUCH going on upstairs to really capture it in one word. Sometimes it means you don't feel like talking about it. Sometimes there really is nothing up there. Women just say all of that better, because we worry about the feelings of others more. We're trained that way.

    I can be an insomniac if I can't shut off stuff like that, too.

    By Blogger wordgirl, at 11/28/2005 9:27 AM  

  • lol good questions! I think a lot of it is just because they can. Have you ever heard them tell a joke about why a dog scratches itself where men can't?
    Answer: Because IT CAN! (see my reasoning?)

    It's almost as though men wear farts & burps in public as badges of honor. They're funny creatures, aren't they?
    Another weird thing about is they have the ability to not be thinking about anything at all. I've tried that numerous times & can't even come close. With you up so late, pondering men, I'm thinking we're in the same boat.

    By Blogger jane, at 11/28/2005 5:24 PM  

  • HA! Thanks for the laugh. And, PLEASE, let me know if you find out the answer to those questions! Also, find out the gene responsible for the male non-listening trait and I will give you my life savings. HA!

    By Blogger Crazy MomCat, at 11/28/2005 7:15 PM  

  • The reason why is because when WOMAN stepped out of the primordial oooze, she kept going. MAN had to stop and find his keys. And then, he wouldn't ask for directions in order to evolve.

    By Blogger Shrinking Violet, at 12/02/2005 11:42 AM  

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