Friday Funnies
I am at home with a sick child today. Fever, stomach ache - whatever is going around that everyone else has has finally come to visit at my house.
Keeping it light since today is Friday. I am not going to go on about how I sat at a track meet from 4:30 until 9:30 last night. My son (the sick one) ran the mile and a half (2400) and the mile (1600). So in that 5 hours only about 15 minutes of it was him actually doing something. And, I will not complain about how cold it was. Yes, my blood has gotten thin living down here in sub-tropical land but the wind was up last night and I had on two jackets and a blanket - kind of an Ann Taylor Homeless look going on.
On to the funnies:
My youngest (8) told me the other day that he wanted to be a...what are those guys who talk and are funny??
me: a comedian?
D: yeah. One of those. My whole class thinks I am really funny cuz I make up jokes all the time.
me: Lay one on me.
D: What do you call a guy who lives in the jungle?
me: I don't know.
D: Tarzan.
me: Oh! I get it (desperate chuckle approximating laughter).
D: Here's another one. Why are fish so smart?
me: Hmmmm, I don't know (but I did really KNOW!)
D: Cuz they are in schools all the time.
Well, forget college. Obviously, I have the next Seinfeld on my hands. Have a great weekend!
Keeping it light since today is Friday. I am not going to go on about how I sat at a track meet from 4:30 until 9:30 last night. My son (the sick one) ran the mile and a half (2400) and the mile (1600). So in that 5 hours only about 15 minutes of it was him actually doing something. And, I will not complain about how cold it was. Yes, my blood has gotten thin living down here in sub-tropical land but the wind was up last night and I had on two jackets and a blanket - kind of an Ann Taylor Homeless look going on.
On to the funnies:
My youngest (8) told me the other day that he wanted to be a...what are those guys who talk and are funny??
me: a comedian?
D: yeah. One of those. My whole class thinks I am really funny cuz I make up jokes all the time.
me: Lay one on me.
D: What do you call a guy who lives in the jungle?
me: I don't know.
D: Tarzan.
me: Oh! I get it (desperate chuckle approximating laughter).
D: Here's another one. Why are fish so smart?
me: Hmmmm, I don't know (but I did really KNOW!)
D: Cuz they are in schools all the time.
Well, forget college. Obviously, I have the next Seinfeld on my hands. Have a great weekend!
posted by DebbieDoesLife at
9:35 AM
16 Comments:
You might want to slip a few college brochures under his cereal bowl next time he tries his jokes on you.
Seriously, I hope the sick bug exits your house very soon. This sick business is for the birds.
By
Unknown, at 2/24/2006 9:52 AM
I will be expecting free tickets to his first appearance on Leno!! Being one who just wants to help a kid with a dream.....I am willing to share one of my own fine jokes:
Q-What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A-A GUMMY BEAR!!!
Ha, ha......ha, ha, ha ha!!! Is that hysterical or what?? It is always a winner with my second grade audience at school.
By
Anonymous, at 2/24/2006 10:57 AM
Love the "Ann Taylor homeless look." I know that look very well.
By
Arabella, at 2/24/2006 11:39 AM
My personal favorite:
Q-Why is the grass green?
A-Because if it was blue you wouldn't know when to stop mowing the lawn!
By
The Gradual Gardener, at 2/24/2006 12:35 PM
Wait, I did that wrong. It should be:
Q-Why is the sky blue?
A-Because it if was green you wouldn't know when to stop mowing the lawn!
Maybe I should lay off the Bailey's Irish Cream in my morning coffee...
By
The Gradual Gardener, at 2/24/2006 12:37 PM
Mmmm Bailey's Irish Cream. *Homer gurgle and drool*
Feel better Deb!
Why is the woman called "woman?"
Because when Adam saw Eve he said, "Whoa man."
By
Tink, at 2/24/2006 1:29 PM
Hmmmm....Me thinks ya'lls jokes are worse than my son's.
Carol - he is in 2nd grade and LOVED the gummy bear joke and will add it to his routine.
GG - no Bailey's B4 noon. Or no jokes after Bailey's!
By
DebbieDoesLife, at 2/24/2006 2:11 PM
Don't forget why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 (ate) 9.
By
Trish, at 2/24/2006 3:17 PM
Hold on just a little bit longer- the actual sense of humor that makes sense should be developing shortly. This is why 8 year olds are capable of crossing the street by themselves, it is a brain development thing.
PS Matt says: What does Santa drink at the bar?
answer: rein-beer
By
Anonymous, at 2/24/2006 4:12 PM
Tell your son Jane thinks his Tarzan joke is the bomb!
By
jane, at 2/24/2006 10:53 PM
Madeleine (age 4): Mommy what did the 0 say to the 8?
Me: I don't know
Her: Nice belt!
Me: That's pretty good honey, but I just told you that about 5 minutes ago. Tell me a new one.
Her: Okay, what did the 7 say to the 1?
Me: I don't know.
Her: Why do you have that line on your bottom?
And by the way Debbie... I think the Tarzan one was awesome!
By
Mignon, at 2/24/2006 11:11 PM
My son's original joke:
Why was the dog meowing?
Because it's owner said, "Stop BARKING!"
By
Anonymous, at 2/25/2006 4:38 AM
My 5-year-old went through a phase a few months ago where he was trying to make up jokes all the time. I wish I had written some of them down now. None of them were traditionally funny, but I remember a few of them as being so bizarre they actually made me laugh. So of course he thought they were ha-ha funny and would repeat them.
By
The Queen Mama, at 2/25/2006 9:51 AM
Well, he should make a ton of money and you will save for not having to shell out for college. Sounds like a win/win to me.
By
Ditsy Chick, at 2/26/2006 8:34 AM
Internet, don't believe "Ann Taylor homeless." This woman looks like a supermodel at 8am. Trust me. I've seen it.
By
Anonymous, at 2/26/2006 8:47 PM
Awwwww...hope all is well soon. (And I didn't believe it at all, Ms. Sarcastic!)
By
Brooke, at 2/26/2006 11:22 PM
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