Wednesday, February 22, 2006

A Few of My Shining Moments

I'm sure that no one else but me has ever done something soooo dumb that you right away wondered has anyone else ever made this mistake? Am I the only person this stupid? I will come clean on a few of my prouder moments.

One time while trying to help the hubby out with mowing the yard (he always mows and never asks me too - I was doing it out of the selflessness of my good, but stupid heart), I was trying to get real close to his golf net. Its looks almost like a soccer goal but it catches the golf ball so he can practice his swing in the backyard. Being lazy I thought I could get really close without moving the net and BOOM! the lawnmower sucked that net up faster than Dick Cheney shoots his friends! I killed the motor and tried to breathe. Oh, shit, Oh shit, Oh shit! was all I remember coming out of my mouth. I mangled that net. There would be no hiding this numbnut of a mistake. Well, it took me about 3 days to fess up to it.

One day I decided to wash my yacht, I mean Suburban. As I washed I noticed that there were some little teensy flecks of white paint on my lovely charcoal gray paint job. If I used my thumbnail they would pop off but there were a bunch and that would take a long time. I must have driven through some kind of paint overspray. DING! The lightbulb went off! I knew what would do the trick EVEN FASTER! My kitchen scrubber sponge! And, boy did it ever! I really put some elbow grease into and was whizzing all down the side and around the back end. Taking a breather I decided to admire my handiwork. That's when I almost passed out. Oh, shit, Oh shit, Oh shit, was all I remember saying as I looked at the scratches all over my car - right through the clear coat! That one I couldn't even bring myself to admit verbally, I sent hubby an email and assured him that he could not get madder at me than I was. He called after he read the email and asked if I was still detailing cars and could he bring his!

Oh, there's loads more. I am a natural blonde, let me assure you. But, I'm sure that no one else HAS EVER done anything as stupid as me.


  • Oh what I'd give to see the golf net fiasco. Too bad that wasn't video'd, you could've won $10,000.

    By Blogger jane, at 2/22/2006 9:27 PM  

  • Oh my god...I would have died. But I can see how it made sense at the time!

    By Blogger Brooke, at 2/22/2006 10:32 PM  

  • Oh, yes. Yes, I have. I'm blonde I guess we can blame in on that!

    Lest you not believe the ways I have embarassed myself, check out this entry from October:

    At least I can laugh about them all now!

    By Blogger Crazy MomCat, at 2/22/2006 11:06 PM  

  • I try to stay away from power tools for just this reason.

    Unfortunately, that doesn't stop me from incorrectly operating my mouth.

    By Anonymous candy, at 2/23/2006 5:47 AM  

  • Oh, yes, brunettes do these things, too. I once tried to get really close to a tree to cut the grass with my dad's rider mower, when I was a teenager, and instead of stepping on the brakes, well, guess what I did? The entire front of the mower caved in.

    By Blogger Vanessa, at 2/23/2006 6:35 AM  

  • Momcat: Please give up twirling for life! I read your stories and they were hilarious - now.

    Vanessa: I didn't tell my riding mower story. I plowed right through a fence with ours.

    Candy: My mouth has some owner/operator problems too. Plenty of those stories unfortunately.

    By Blogger DebbieDoesLife, at 2/23/2006 6:43 AM  

  • Oh Debbie, thanks for sharing those. I can't help but smile thinking of how we just ignore that little voice that tells us this might not be a great idea.

    And let me assure you plenty of people do way stupider things than that. Check out sometime.

    By Anonymous TB, at 2/23/2006 6:51 AM  

  • Aw Deb. Those are pretty awful. I promise you though, we're ALL capable of dingy moments. That doesn't mean we're not smart women. I once locked my keys in the car while it was running.

    By Blogger Tink, at 2/23/2006 8:24 AM  

  • Hey, I think I get the prize on "lawnmower incidents", since I gave up half my big toe to one!

    By Blogger The Gradual Gardener, at 2/23/2006 8:47 AM  

  • I was driving a rental car and the engine idle was set really high. I was so cautious putting that sucker into gear, but not cautious enough. I accidentally slipped it into neutral as I was trying to back out of someone's graded driveway. Before I could yell S***T, the car rolled forward, hit and hit a rusted iron carport support that then fell down in slow motion across the front of the car. Not only did I ding the rental, I wrecked an 80-year-old's carport!

    Me and my girlfriend got out the turtlewax and car cleaning supplies to remove the paint marks on the hood. I called my husband to see if I should 'fess up to the minor damage to the car hood and he said, "No way. Let the rental company notice it and come after you for it."

    They didn't notice. I didn't pay. Thank God!

    By Anonymous V-Grrrl, at 2/23/2006 9:13 AM  

  • Sounds so much like me, it's scary!

    By Blogger Renee, at 2/23/2006 11:38 AM  

  • I ran up and down the streets surrounding my childhood home chasing after my dog, who got spooked my a freak clap of thunder and took off like a bat outta hell, in a t-shirt.

    JUST a t-shirt. (It was the middle of summer.)

    I didn't realize that I didn't have any underwear on until after the nice couple who stopped to help me catch my dog dropped both me and my bastard dog off at my house.

    By Blogger mama_tulip, at 2/23/2006 12:07 PM  

  • Okay, I need to clarify -- it was a really long, oversized t-shirt that came to my knees.

    Still. I had no underwear on.

    By Blogger mama_tulip, at 2/23/2006 12:08 PM  

  • Should I tell you how many times my baby crawled off the end of our bed before I started having him nap in his crib? No. I can't even admit it to myself.

    By Blogger Mignon, at 2/23/2006 12:09 PM  

  • Debbie....there is not time or space on this blog for me to tell you about all my 'shining moments'. Suffice to say my family and friends say, "I pulled a Carol today" when they do something clutsy. I don't have blonde hair to blame it on so I blame my clutsiness on my 5'8" frame trying to balance on my size 6 feet.

    By Anonymous Carol, at 2/23/2006 9:46 PM  

  • Oh I once took off the side mirror of my own car in a damn simple parking manouver. I come by it honestly though. My mother once cleaned my bathroom so well she left the chrome peeling off all the faucets. Damn freaky, neat-freak, freaks!

    By Blogger mo-wo, at 2/24/2006 12:05 AM  

  • Hmm . . . my second husband was a direct descendant of Satan, with two spawn of his own . . . and I married him, anyway, even after meeting his family & confirming my fears.

    And I STILL gave it a year & a half before I called it quits.

    What I wouldn't give for a lawnmower incident to replace THAT in the catalogue of "My Past Acts of Stupidity".

    By Blogger Melodious, at 2/24/2006 11:07 AM  

  • Yup, the keys in car with car running, I can relate.

    Went to the lobby without shoes to check the mail. Realized after interior door closed, grabbed wrong keys. Stuck in the lobby for 30 minutes in my stocking feet. Yup, I can relate.

    By Anonymous Deborah, at 2/24/2006 11:22 AM  

  • I didn't forget to pick my son up from school this week. No, not me. I just cannot relate....

    By Blogger Ditsy Chick, at 2/26/2006 8:32 AM  

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