DebbieDoesLife

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

New Meds on the Market!!!

I get a lot of stupid emails forwarded to me. But I got this one the other day and it made me laugh!! I just had to share.

NEW DRUGS FOR WOMEN

D A M N I T O L
Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours.

ST. M O M M A'S W O R T
Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to two days.

E M P T Y N E S T R O G E N
Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding you of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out.

P E P T O B I M B O
Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and prevents conception.

D U M B E R O L
When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks.

F L I P I T O R
Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.

BUYAGRA
Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping Increases potency, duration, and credit limit of spending spree.

J A C K A S S P I R I N
Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary, phone number, or to lift the toilet seat.

A N T I-T A L K S I D E N T A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers in elevators.

N A G A M E N T
When administered to a boyfriend or husband, provides the same irritation level as nagging him.


The line forms behind me, friends.

11 Comments:

  • Hah! Loved the Buyagra. LOL

    By Anonymous V-Grrrl, at 1/18/2006 3:26 AM  

  • Very funny - I want Buyagra and Anti-Talksident. And, as preschool director, there are days when I want some St. Momm's wort!

    By Anonymous tlc, at 1/18/2006 6:30 AM  

  • These are HILARIOUS!!!

    By Blogger Arabella, at 1/18/2006 6:40 AM  

  • I'm buying stock in "JACKASSPIRIN!" Too cute.

    By Blogger Tink, at 1/18/2006 10:17 AM  

  • Oh man. I would be spraying the antitalksident liberally here in Ohio. These people are just a little too friendly if you know what I mean. For God's sake, just because we are both waiting to see the same doctor, that doesn't mean I need to know about your plantars warts and your unfortunate bout with the stomach flu.

    By Anonymous TB, at 1/18/2006 11:12 AM  

  • I think the city's been putting some Dumberol in the water supply!

    By Blogger Mignon, at 1/18/2006 12:18 PM  

  • I'm in desperate need of Flipitor. STAT!

    By Blogger wordgirl, at 1/18/2006 12:39 PM  

  • Oh my. I misread the "Peptobimbo" one. I got all excited because I thought it said "prevents constipation."

    By Blogger mama_tulip, at 1/18/2006 1:47 PM  

  • Is there one that can be adminstered to an infant that will prevent them from waking up crying the moment their parents start to 'get it on'? I could use a drug like that.

    By Blogger Mama D, at 1/18/2006 3:08 PM  

  • I just snarked out loud! Thanks for lifting me out of my corporate-induced coma!

    By Blogger Shrinking Violet, at 1/18/2006 3:31 PM  

  • Tee-Hee-Hee...........too funny!! Thanks for sharing.

    By Anonymous Carol, at 1/18/2006 5:17 PM  

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