Friday, January 13, 2006

Gimme some H

Hormones.....what a wonderful thing. I am considering taking a bath in a vat of progesterone to see if it will make me any nicer. Maybe it will also make my boobs not feel like they weigh 25 lbs. each and like they just went 12 rounds with the heavy weight champion of the world.

Yesterday as the wicked hormones ensued throughout my body I actually had some road rage at a grandma. Okay, she was going 30 mph in a 40 AND put her turn signal on to make a curve in the road. I had to ride all up on her bumper and say terrible things like, "I'll bet when you bend over your boobs touch the ground first!" Okay, I'm ashamed.

Then a little farther down the road I see a man (where is the camera when you need it!) using a riding lawn mower as his vehicle, seriously, with a puppy sitting on the steering wheel AND the man forgot to put his teeth in. Welcome to Texas. At least through the red veil of raging H even I could see the humor in this.

I keep repeating to myself everytime I feel this way (yucky, fat, worthless and that I am a failure), "Its hormones!" and "No major life changing decisions today."


  • DEFINITELY a day to reward yourself for having a vagina. Also a day to reward yourself for driving behind the slow lady.

    I don't know what's worse, heavy breast or breasts that weigh, like, .0003 ounces. Combined.

    By Blogger Arabella, at 1/13/2006 7:47 AM  

  • Around here, hormonal days are akin to having bees buzzing around in my head. I can relate.

    By Blogger wordgirl, at 1/13/2006 8:43 AM  

  • Good rule of thumb, Debbie! I need to remember that one. HA!

    By Blogger Crazy MomCat, at 1/13/2006 8:45 AM  

  • "I don't know what's worse, heavy breast or breasts that weigh, like, .0003 ounces." *Snort* Being part of the Itty-bitty-titty-comity is definitely worse. When you're hormonal there's nothing to throw around.

    A nice cure for hormone surges? Double Fudge Brownie Ice Cream and a punching bag, followed by "When Harry Met Sally."

    By Blogger Tink, at 1/13/2006 9:49 AM  

  • Can I just add this to my pity party? I had lunch plans today with two friends to eat sushi - my fav!!! But, no my youngest has had to stay home sick. The hormones and now I had to cancel lunch....kill me now.

    By Blogger DebbieDoesLife, at 1/13/2006 9:58 AM  

  • Well, Texas and Louisiana must be twins because I see that guy on the mower too!

    By Blogger Renee, at 1/13/2006 10:17 AM  

  • I just spent two days home with my ill youngest one. I feel your pain.

    By Blogger wordgirl, at 1/13/2006 2:17 PM  

  • Well, at least you've maintained your sense of humor!

    By Blogger Brooke, at 1/13/2006 4:59 PM  

  • Honey, I have seen your pictures and you are NOT fat! I have more fat in my right arm than you have on your entire body. Having big boobs is a good thing, if nothing else, you always have a weapon is someone tries to steal your purse.

    By Blogger Ditsy Chick, at 1/13/2006 10:38 PM  

  • I actually listened to a radio station debating back and forth as to whether PMS was 'real' or just an 'excuse' women use to act like be-atches!! Pissed me off real bad cuz I was PMS-ing at the time!! My 25lb, prize fighting boobs join you in your pain........

    By Anonymous Carol, at 1/14/2006 11:24 AM  

  • How sweet - by being blogmates with you, my cycle is now in sync with yours!

    By Blogger Melanhead, at 1/14/2006 9:14 PM  

  • Hey, Ms. Texas, you don't own the rights to kooks riding their mowers as vehicles. Apparently, the dude has a twin in Arkansas.

    Love and sympathy from your giant-swollen-hormonal-boobfriend!

    By Blogger Vanessa, at 1/15/2006 9:44 AM  

  • I'm convinced there's only one hour a month when everything is in balance physically and right with the world. I think I must sleep through it.....

    By Anonymous V-Grrrl, at 1/16/2006 1:51 AM  

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