Me?? A Fashion Don't?
Yes, I admit it. I have committed a fashion crime. I am now on the run and having to update the blog from the road.
Return with me to the scene of the crime. I have always known that I have a bit of a problem discerning navy from black. I usually have to hold up something I know is one color or the other to the item in question to be able to see if it is black or blue.
Yesterday I pulled out my snappy blue striped sweater and (what I thought) was my navy slacks. I then pulled on some navy trouser socks and my chocolate suede kicky loafers. And, went my merry way to church. Much to my horror, somewhere between the Lord's Prayer and the song "You Are Holy", God decided to point out my error by directing a ray of light directly on my slacks - which were not navy but black. I was wearing black slacks with brown shoes. Oh, the horror! Tiny beads of sweat instantly erupted along my upper lip. A fine film of perspiration dampened my underarms. No where to hide! My fashion faux paus was literally in front of God and everyone!
This was almost as bad as the time I wore a bright blue dress to school in junior high. I had a bit of a "perspiration" problem - okay, I started to sweat like a race horse and of course the dress showed it like a neon beer sign. I was mortified and the more embarassed I became the more I sweat. I'm surprised the story didn't end with me hanging myself in the girls bathroom. But, no it was a long bus ride home with some stupid boy quoting an Arrid Extra Dry commercial. Ha, ha.
Return with me to the scene of the crime. I have always known that I have a bit of a problem discerning navy from black. I usually have to hold up something I know is one color or the other to the item in question to be able to see if it is black or blue.
Yesterday I pulled out my snappy blue striped sweater and (what I thought) was my navy slacks. I then pulled on some navy trouser socks and my chocolate suede kicky loafers. And, went my merry way to church. Much to my horror, somewhere between the Lord's Prayer and the song "You Are Holy", God decided to point out my error by directing a ray of light directly on my slacks - which were not navy but black. I was wearing black slacks with brown shoes. Oh, the horror! Tiny beads of sweat instantly erupted along my upper lip. A fine film of perspiration dampened my underarms. No where to hide! My fashion faux paus was literally in front of God and everyone!
This was almost as bad as the time I wore a bright blue dress to school in junior high. I had a bit of a "perspiration" problem - okay, I started to sweat like a race horse and of course the dress showed it like a neon beer sign. I was mortified and the more embarassed I became the more I sweat. I'm surprised the story didn't end with me hanging myself in the girls bathroom. But, no it was a long bus ride home with some stupid boy quoting an Arrid Extra Dry commercial. Ha, ha.
posted by DebbieDoesLife at
6:09 AM
14 Comments:
You are way too hard on yourself. Remember the men and their myriad fashion "no no's" and you are practically a super model. (As someone who knows you personally, you are very cute and are probably the only one who noticed the black slacks.)
By
Anonymous, at 1/23/2006 7:15 AM
Oh, everyone does it. I wore two different shoes one day and didn't notice it until after work!
By
Renee, at 1/23/2006 8:05 AM
*Gasp* And you weren't tackled and ticketed by the fashion police?! You got lucky this time ;). I sweat when I get nervous, but it's only from one armpit. Is that odd or what?
By
Tink, at 1/23/2006 8:38 AM
Why, oh why do we not notice these things until it's too late? This always happens to me after I arrive at work and sit down. Then I realize that my clothes don't match, or my socks are falling down under my boots, or that my underwear is destined to tickle me butt all day with the little tag in the back.
Black with brown shoes isn't so bad. :) I certainly see worse on the subway every day.
By
Mrs. Harridan, at 1/23/2006 8:49 AM
Oh, I think this is no worse than a misdemeanor, at most. But, then again, I am someone who routinely roots through the hamper for something to wear.
By
Arabella, at 1/23/2006 9:08 AM
What? You're black pants and brown shoes is bad?! I suppose this means I'm not supposed to wear navy blue tights with black shoes either. Damn. ;o)
By
Anonymous, at 1/23/2006 9:15 AM
I, too, am navy/black colorblind. I have many a ticket from the fashion police for that little misdemeanor.
Life goes on!
By
The Queen Mama, at 1/23/2006 10:45 AM
HAhaha, and this is why I wear jeans on a constant basis. I also sweat a ton. My ex calls it "Pitting". How gross!
By
Anonymous, at 1/23/2006 10:47 AM
I have done the exact same thing. There are some dark blue fabrics out there that are hard to tell the difference from black.
By
Anonymous, at 1/23/2006 3:38 PM
I hit post before I finished. What I was going to say was, I have done worse. I have worn navy tights with a black skirt.
By
Anonymous, at 1/23/2006 3:39 PM
I went to the gym today and started feeling totally self conscious of my lack of "fashionable" workout attire. Shame on me getting sweaty in a black tank and navy sweats with a light blue stripe. And yellow, black and white sneakers too! I expect they won't let me in the door of the YMCA next time I go.
By
Mama D, at 1/23/2006 5:18 PM
My favorite sweater ever was black and brown. It made life so simple.
By
Anonymous, at 1/23/2006 6:21 PM
LMAO - I usually pretend I am decent at fashion, but honestly I am public offender #1. Take for instance this weekend, I wore a black shirt with small flowers and jeans. I musta missed the memo that said all mommies, need to wear velour sweat suits and hats. Whoda thunk it?
By
Ditsy Chick, at 1/23/2006 11:43 PM
Count me in the camp that says the black slacks and brown shoes are not a fashion offense. It was the navy and white striped sweater with the black pants that made me wonder how you could live with your badass self! ; )
I say, until you make it on Go Fug Yourself, your safe. We won't tell.
By
Anonymous, at 1/24/2006 9:33 AM
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