Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Lost the Receipt...

Got a phone call today. One of those lovely kind. From the youngest's teacher.

"David's anger is out of control. Today he got angry when he didn't win at Bingo and wrinkled up the card, threw it on the ground then told the other child, 'I am so mad I could curse."

There are things to be thankful for in that statement.

A. He didn't hit the other child.

B. He didn't really curse.

So much for trying to see the bright side. I am at my wits end with this kid. We are paying out the booty-hole for private school so that he can be in a "smaller and more individualized environment." He is very, very smart but that is combined with immature, tendencies to be narrow minded, and introverted. I read up on Asberger's Syndrome with this one but he only hit about 50% of the criteria. I home-schooled him for 4 months last year until we found this private school.

Think Rain Man. Okay, that's a bit extreme. But today it doesn't seem like it. When the teacher says, "things I try with the other kids, don't work with him." No shit lady. I had two other kids first so I know EXACTLY what you are saying. Part of me just wants to cry and crawl into a hole. I don't know what to do. Should I try some funky diet (don't laugh, I am considering it)? Should I take him to a professional (professional what I am not sure yet - counseling, testing etc.)? There are days I just would like to return him and get my money back.

He can be sooo good. Cute and funny. But that is usually just around us - his immediate family. Unfortunately, the rest of the world hardly gets to see that kid. A few of my friends really go out of there way to engage him and to those who read this...Thank you. From the very bottom of my heart I appreciate your attempts to draw him out and I know you have gotten that little reward of a smile or interested conversation from him. But I just don't know what to do...


  • Hey Debbie... hang in there. I work with Special Needs students at the high school level. Several of our students with Autism have special diets... and it really does help them. From reading your post, I see that your son doesn't have that lable, but it wouldn't hurt to try out a special diet for him. Another suggestion, and this will sound strange... try going to a chriopractor. Alot of strange things have been attributed to misalignment... many of our students go to chiropractors... they even can help with drooling... strange, eh? Be sure the chiropractor uses the Gonstead Method of Chiropractic Medicine. Finally... contact your local Area Education Agency. They can do several tests to check and see if your child needs any special education services. Good luck!

    By Blogger kiriaioulia, at 11/02/2005 6:09 PM  

  • Have you had him tested? It could be he has a learning disability or some form of autism. I'm new to your blog, so I wasn't sure on that, but I definitely think you should first figure out what is exact issues are. Then, it will be easier to know what to do next.

    I can't imagine how frustrating it must be as his parent to get that call. Just remember that not every kid fits into that classroom mold they place on our children. Maybe once you know what his issues are (or perhaps try counseling to get to the root of the issues), you might find an environment where he thrives.

    Hang in there!

    By Blogger Crazy MomCat, at 11/02/2005 11:03 PM  

  • I get those calls all the time. My son has ADHD and I refuse to medicate him. He cannot control his anger and his impulsivity. I've fought with school officials and counselors for years. We went the private school route in 3rd grade and it did not work, with only 9 children in the class. Public school ended up working for him, with some adjustments being made for his learning disabilities, which doesn't mean he isn't intelligent, which just means he needs help in the classroom paying attention and staying focused. Talk to the school about putting him in a place for a "cooling off period" when he has these angry episodes. It helps children manage their emotions when they're overstimulated to have some quiet time. Lots of buzz words, I know, and sorry for the novel, but my son is now 13, and I've heard it all. Good luck and don't give up. You know what's best for your child.

    By Anonymous trish, at 11/03/2005 9:36 AM  

  • I have an out of control 8 yr old son. Last year in first grade he went to the office 32 times. The public school is working with his ADHD (we have a great elem school thank God), we have finally put him on some meds that work (please don't flame me, it was after much therapy, testing, prayer and tears) AND...

    I found a book called The Nurtured Heart Approach - Transforming the Difficult Child. I also found a therapist who is trained in the Nurtured Heart system. This book gave me hope, gave me concrete ways to deal with him, gave me confidence that I am NOT the ONLY MOM with an out of control child. The training session I was in included a principal who was wanting to implement the approach throughout her elementary school, that's how sold she was on it.

    You are welcome to communicate with me if you want. Having a difficult child is very isolating and overwhelming at times.

    By Blogger momisold, at 11/03/2005 11:50 AM  

  • I have met him, as you know, and I think he is a cute and sweet kid. That being said, if he is having troubles in school, bringing him to a "professional" so you can find out exactly what is going on could be good.

    We all know that all kids are different and sometimes you just need to find out what makes this individual child tick.

    By Anonymous sarcastic journalist, at 11/03/2005 12:35 PM  

  • When I had Matt evaluated (privately) it was because I knew he was depressed. I had seen some articles on Aspergers and brought it up with his therapist, who didn't think Matt had "enough" of it to be classified. Lo and behold the evaluators told me before they were even finished that they were diagnosing him with AS. I did some research, it did sound like him, and despite the fact that many people told me to avoid labeling him, it has only served to help me and force the school to be understanding and give him what he needs.

    Matt is on a caseine free diet, my ADHD son is on the Feingold diet, and I have a wheat intolerance. I know about special diets!! They really do help the kids. The boys are way more in control of their feelings and actions when their diets are "clean"

    This past summer we were introduced to an amazing educational consultant who works all over the US. He has been incredible.

    I also make use of chiropracter, cranial sacral therapy and even acupuncture on us. All have made a nice difference.

    Feel free to contact me if you want to talk. Remember- YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

    By Anonymous clickmom, at 11/04/2005 6:50 AM  

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