MADS

What is MADS?? Mothers Against Drunk Swimmers - read on to understand

Day Two of the Romantic Weekend:

The hubs and I decided to try and find a New York Style Pizza by the Slice place we had seen in the aforementioned beach town (sorry to interrupt this program but legally I must inform you that you should NOT take directions to anywhere from me). I recommended making a right out of hotel. Did I mention that we were on foot? Did I mention it was bright and sunny and I have 0% pigment in my skin?

After about 35 minutes of walking, we walked ourselves into a store that sold melanoma-NO! (also known as sun screen) and applied liberally.

"Hmmmm, I thought it was this way" was said many times in additonal 25 minutes of walking. At this point, defeat was admitted and we turned around to walk the same hour back to our hotel. We ate a beachside style hamburger, instead of a NY style slab of pizza. Once we made it back to the hotel the swim up bar was screaming my name and we ran down to the pool.

Sipping sensibly on our margaritas we watched a family that we had noticed the day before. Perfect and nuclear - one mom, one dad, one boy, one girl. Then I noticed that the mom came and sat down on the edge of the pool, in her clothes. I knew her butt was going to have a ginormous wet spot on it when she stood back and up and made a mental note of "Hmmm, that's weird". Then I realized I had seen the dad griping at the waitress because she was out of Malibu Rum.

Something about this family kept making the hubs and I stare like visitors to the zoo. The family had finally gotten their stuff altogether and were ready to leave the pool area. That's when I realize that the mom CANNOT STAND UP. She was drunk, wasted, shit-faced, plowed, bombed, you know, three sheets to the wind. The son (age 12?) is trying to help her up and she cannot do it. Then when she does finally get up, we all got the pleasure of seeing her now totally wet ass. I do not even know these people and I was incredibly embarassed.

The hubs says that he saw the dad argueing with the waitress about the lack of Malibu Rum and the girl told him "You drank the whole bottle!". The mom had to sit down again on a chair while the boy and girl waited. Finally the family made their way out of the pool area.

I hope these people ordered room service and did not climb into the family van in search of dinner. I can't even imagine the permanent damage done to these kids. It was obviously NOT the first time they'd had to help mom and dad back to their room.

Oh and we went back in our car to clock our mileage. We walked a little over 5 miles that day. The pizza place? It was the opposite direction, not even an 1/8 of a mile!