Tuesday, May 30, 2006

A Heart Growing Fonder

Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.
Khalil Gibran

Summer is officially here. For me summer begins when the kids get out of school.

It also means that my oldest has been gone almost a month. He is doing his basic training in Ft. Benning, Georgia. He will not be home until the middle of August and then he will go right back to college.

I miss him with ever fiber of my being. The summer is just beginning and I already miss him terribly. I'm weepy at weird times. I think its because we were once physically linked. When he was in my womb. For me, as his mother, that link has never actually been severed. Sure, the umbilical cord was cut but he was still connected to me. I feel the same way about my other two. When my children hurt, I hurt with them. Maybe more.

I miss talking to him. He has always been able to make me laugh. Because of cell phones we spoke every other day even after he moved out and was in college. I miss being able to just hear his voice.

He has written to me and the rest of our family almost every day. I am proud that he writes a really good letter. He describes what he is doing and how hard it is. They had to go into a gas chamber just the other day and take off the mask, breathe in the gas and then recite a creed, their name and social security number. He said the gas burns like nothing he had ever felt before. All of them were coughing, choking, vomiting. They knew better then to try and get out. You see, the plattoon who went in ahead of them had a guy run out screaming. He was drug back in and made to do the exercise TWICE.

They did a ropes course the other day. The highest bridge was 50 ft. They were told that when they fell they needed to make an L with their body. One guy didn't and broke his ankle.

They get 3 minutes to eat their meals and 20 seconds in the shower. It's been eye-opening for my younger children. They now realize that their big brother is NOT at a summer camp.

The rest of my family is eager to hear C's letter's when they arrive. I have already written him back many times. The other two boys have now written and my husband too. This will be our writing summer. I will keep C's letters forever. I plan to tie them with ribbon and put them in the cedar chest my dad made for me.

We will all go in August to see him graduate. His letters have really pulled us in and we will understand what he had to go through to receive his blue cord. It will mean a lot to us too. I am proud of how well C is doing. He has done physical training all year long with an Army Ranger training unit at his college and he has been in ROTC the past year.

C won't be going with us on the family vacations this summer. It will feel like we all left an arm behind or something. I just miss him so much. August is a long way away.


  • My son is only six, but I really hope when he's old enough to be on his own as your son is, that he's as considerate and close with the rest of his family. This really is a testament to you and your husband's parenting.

    I hope the summer goes by fast for you and August goes by slow.

    By Blogger Crazy MomCat, at 5/30/2006 9:52 PM  

  • Jebus....I don't know how you do it. Such a separation would make me nuts.

    By Blogger wordgirl, at 5/30/2006 11:18 PM  

  • My son, Chris, was home this weekend from Twentynine Palms. It was good to 'see' him, when we did. He had a lot of catching up to do with friends..ya.. uh.. huh..He always knows the family will be there waiting for him. It was hard to say good bye this morning, as he was still in bed and I just squeezed his leg and told him to call before his flight took off. When he did, it was all I could do to hold back the tears and say.."I love you." Hopefully we'll get to see him again in July. His unit is scheduled to go back to Iraq in January 2007.

    Keep those cards and letters coming! Chris kept all of his and has them in a drawer. The letters you write are just as important as the ones you receive.

    WE all will be anxious to see his graduation pictures!!!

    By Blogger Brenda, at 5/30/2006 11:32 PM  

  • This makes me cry. I can feel how much you miss him, how your pride is mixed a bit with fear, how you feel like an amputee with phantom pains.

    By Anonymous V-Grrrl, at 5/31/2006 3:42 AM  

  • Sorry about that, Debbie. I guess I'll have this feeling one day too, probably before I know it.
    I'll be hoping that your time apart from him flies by!

    By Blogger Renee, at 5/31/2006 8:42 AM  

  • Oh Debbie, I'm all weepy here. I'm sorry. I feel for you, I really do.

    By Blogger mama_tulip, at 5/31/2006 9:07 AM  

  • *big hug*

    By Blogger B.E.C.K., at 5/31/2006 11:52 AM  

  • Sending you hugs...

    By Blogger Jess Riley, at 5/31/2006 12:09 PM  

  • The letters are so so important in both directions. When my husband goes out to sea, we usually rely on email, but it is the same thing. He loved getting notes from everyone and I loved the notes I got in return.

    It sounds as though your son has the dedication and drive to succeed in training. It's not for the feint of heart. I'll have him and your family in my prayers.

    But three minutes to eat?? I have heartburn just thinking about it.

    By Blogger Annie, The Evil Queen, at 5/31/2006 12:14 PM  

  • "They had to go into a gas chamber just the other day and take off the mask, breathe in the gas and then recite a creed, their name and social security number."

    Oh. My. God. I always thought I was a strong person. But I'm not THAT strong. Bless your son: his courage and his love for his family. I'm sending my good wishes your way.

    By Blogger Tink, at 5/31/2006 12:23 PM  

  • You must be so proud of him Debbie. Your descriptions brought tears to my eyes.

    By Anonymous TB, at 5/31/2006 2:52 PM  

  • Oh, wow! You should be proud of him! That is some intense training and it sounds like he's doing so well! He was/is very driven to do this so of course he is taking it all in stride. Congrats on such a great boy!

    By Blogger #1 Dancer, at 5/31/2006 4:58 PM  

  • I can't believe he writes so often - and I love that in addition to why he's there, you're proud of his letter-writing ability! Like "Well, I know you stayed in that gas chamber and said all that stuff - yeah great, but this metaphor you just used and the subject/verb agreement here - awesome!" :)

    Oh my, do I know what you're talking about - the incredible pain we feel when our children are hurting. You expressed this feeling so well.

    My wv was npllm.

    By Blogger Mignon, at 5/31/2006 6:23 PM  

  • I've seen you around, so I thought I'd come visit and what a post to happen across! My son is going to be a HS senior next year. I've hit that point in my life where everyone keeps asking me, "Where is he going to college?"

    And all I want to say is, "WHAT?! He is not going anywhere if I have anything to say about it!" It's already breaking my heart to think of not seeing him every day. Last June, I started crying when I started seeing the "Happy Graduation" signs everywhere.

    I may have a few issues.

    By Blogger aka Brandi, at 5/31/2006 9:36 PM  

  • My heart aches for you after reading this post. *hug*

    By Blogger Ditsy Chick, at 6/04/2006 8:45 PM  

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