A Heart Growing Fonder

Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.
Khalil Gibran

Summer is officially here. For me summer begins when the kids get out of school.

It also means that my oldest has been gone almost a month. He is doing his basic training in Ft. Benning, Georgia. He will not be home until the middle of August and then he will go right back to college.

I miss him with ever fiber of my being. The summer is just beginning and I already miss him terribly. I'm weepy at weird times. I think its because we were once physically linked. When he was in my womb. For me, as his mother, that link has never actually been severed. Sure, the umbilical cord was cut but he was still connected to me. I feel the same way about my other two. When my children hurt, I hurt with them. Maybe more.

I miss talking to him. He has always been able to make me laugh. Because of cell phones we spoke every other day even after he moved out and was in college. I miss being able to just hear his voice.

He has written to me and the rest of our family almost every day. I am proud that he writes a really good letter. He describes what he is doing and how hard it is. They had to go into a gas chamber just the other day and take off the mask, breathe in the gas and then recite a creed, their name and social security number. He said the gas burns like nothing he had ever felt before. All of them were coughing, choking, vomiting. They knew better then to try and get out. You see, the plattoon who went in ahead of them had a guy run out screaming. He was drug back in and made to do the exercise TWICE.

They did a ropes course the other day. The highest bridge was 50 ft. They were told that when they fell they needed to make an L with their body. One guy didn't and broke his ankle.

They get 3 minutes to eat their meals and 20 seconds in the shower. It's been eye-opening for my younger children. They now realize that their big brother is NOT at a summer camp.

The rest of my family is eager to hear C's letter's when they arrive. I have already written him back many times. The other two boys have now written and my husband too. This will be our writing summer. I will keep C's letters forever. I plan to tie them with ribbon and put them in the cedar chest my dad made for me.

We will all go in August to see him graduate. His letters have really pulled us in and we will understand what he had to go through to receive his blue cord. It will mean a lot to us too. I am proud of how well C is doing. He has done physical training all year long with an Army Ranger training unit at his college and he has been in ROTC the past year.

C won't be going with us on the family vacations this summer. It will feel like we all left an arm behind or something. I just miss him so much. August is a long way away.