Sunday, April 09, 2006

To All You Wrappers Out There

Dear's or Wrappers as you now call yourselves,

Thanks for coming by last weekend at 1:15 in the morning and decorating my front yard. Goodness, all I was doing was....sleeping, so thanks for the bit of entertainment. The white streams of toilet paper were very attractive and made us feel so popular and special. They even reminded me of THIS PROJECT . The hundreds of white plastic forks stuck all over the yard were a particularly nice touch. That's a new one. Here's my complaint.

I, myself, was once a or wrapper. I too enjoyed watching a perfectly tossed roll of cheap toilet tissue unfurling as it crossed a high branch. I reveled in the feeling of a job well done. I remember the rapid breathing and cool sweat that would instantly break out when surviving a close call by parental units. I was even known to occasionally indulge in the cheap and tawdry world of shoe polish. But only when applied to car windows.

"Back in the day" we had a healthy fear of getting caught. You see, the whole decorating job was to be done on the sly. On the q.t. On the downlow (back when on the downlow meant an entirely different thing). That seems to have changed.

When you hear dogs barking and lights coming on in the house you are wrapping, that means STOP WHAT YOU ARE DOING AND RUN. And, for future jobs like this, it helps if you whisper or at least attempt to be quiet.

Or is there a new Texas State Law giving you the right to perform such acts? I did notice that a parent was waiting a short distance away driving a get away Suburban, so obviously this is encouraged, aided and abetted.

But, let me tell you what ISN'T your right. To turn on the hose and start throwing wads of wet tissue at our house. You see that is why a man clad in only running shorts (no, that wasn't a shirt, it was chest hair) had to come out and tell you that enough was enough and to leave. And that was the third time you were asked.

And just as a side note....the 13 year old resident who the entire project was done for wasn't thrilled to have to go out and clean it all up the next morning.



  • Oh, now this brought back memories for me! My mom was an English teacher. Her rule was, her house gets wrapped, I clean it up. Nice, huh? Thankfully, she was very well liked and our house only got TP'd once and there was one failed attempt by some of my friend when I was in high school. Why did it fail? Why, my boyfriend and I sat in the garage with a garden hose locked and loaded and busted them, spraying them down before they got one roll out. HA!

    I have noticed now it is like a popularity thing to get your house tp'd. I just don't get that...

    By Blogger Crazy MomCat, at 4/09/2006 10:18 PM  

  • I remember those days! But I have to say the funniest thing we ever did was to "dot" a house. We cut big polka dots out of construction paper (the more obnoxious the color, the better) and stuck them to the house. It looked like the house had measles!

    Poor 13 year old!

    By Blogger Brooke, at 4/09/2006 11:53 PM  

  • Sheesh. A parent drove the kids there and was waiting for them? That parent should be spanked. I'm just sayin'.

    By Blogger B.E.C.K., at 4/10/2006 12:07 AM  

  • Yeah definitely not cool... I'd be finding out who the suburban belonged to and soaping up their windows (or worse). Most of my acts as a young vandal were directed at the house of the dentist who pulled 4 teeth when he was supposed to pull one. He gave out crappy stuff for hallowe'en and so revenge was soaping up their car windows, but there's no way I'd ever admit it to my parents, let alone ask for a ride. (they did find out years later though and got a laugh out of it)

    By Blogger Heather, at 4/10/2006 6:33 AM  

  • Amen!

    By Anonymous tlc, at 4/10/2006 6:37 AM  

  • I wonder how much money is spent on TP-ing houses each year? Paper companies may be missing an opportunity for growth with just a couple of focused Super Bowl ads.

    By Anonymous Tank, at 4/10/2006 8:15 AM  

  • Shut up. There was a PARENT waiting in the wings?

    Did you get a plate number?

    By Blogger mama_tulip, at 4/10/2006 8:23 AM  

  • That's sort of . . .crazy. Parents were in on it?

    By Anonymous jess, at 4/10/2006 8:35 AM  

  • I can't believe the parent either. But of course, there are some pretty immature idiotic parents of teenagers out there because they are so stinking young today....

    In California I think it's a misdomeanor or something to deface property (laugh) and yeah we tried to be stealthy... it was more fun if the wrapped up person didn't know it was you. I love the forks! We did that too, and that was 20 years ago.

    By Anonymous Sharla, at 4/10/2006 8:44 AM  

  • I'm generally quite a forgiving person, but this really gets to me. Especially the part about the parent being in on it.

    By Blogger Arabella, at 4/10/2006 9:58 AM  

  • You busted them and they kept going? That is insane. I mean toilet paper is fairly harmless but I'm totally with you. Parents driving and the kids not leaving when asked is unacceptable.

    By Anonymous TB, at 4/10/2006 10:19 AM  

  • Wait... There was a PARENT there? You had to tell them THREE times to leave? They WETTED the TP? Everything about that stunt is just wrong.

    *Sigh* They've ruined the spirit of pranking.

    By Blogger Tink, at 4/10/2006 10:57 AM  

  • And these children are the future. I shudder at the thought. I thought, basically, once an adult told you to knock it the hell off and get off my property, the prank was over. I'd seriously consider letting the air out of those Suburban tires.

    By Blogger Annie, The Evil Queen, at 4/10/2006 11:38 AM  

  • Umm...that doesn't exactly sound like "friendly wrapping."

    Next time, call the cops. I know they'll come, they came for me when I did it as a teen.

    By Anonymous sarcastic journalist, at 4/10/2006 1:21 PM  

  • I would have grabbed the hose & turned it on them! Man. But it must be the "vandal season because last night we got nailed by a sidewalk chalk artist. A "friend" of ours (35 years old) thought it would be hilarious to stop by and scribble Poison lyrics all over our sidewalk and porch steps in chalk.

    This story also reminded me of the time my little brother's friends thought it would be funny to TP my parents' house and saran wrap some roadkill to the porch columns. I have rarely seen my dad so pissed off.

    By Blogger Jess Riley, at 4/10/2006 2:41 PM  

  • Times like that you need a good sprinkler system.

    And an electric fence.

    By Anonymous candy, at 4/10/2006 3:51 PM  

  • I agree with Candy. Too bad you didn't know whose car that was, you could get even with em. Put poop in a brown paper bag, knock on their door & set the bag on fire. No, I never did it, but I heard about it & it sounds like this is 1 of those times when it would be justified.

    Your husband has a lot of chest hair, eh? lol

    By Blogger jane, at 4/10/2006 10:35 PM  

  • Holy flying crap coated tp! Was there really a parent in the suv? Did your 13-year-old do something do deserve this? The worst we ever did as 8th graders was throw snowballs at men in cars until they stopped and chased us until they were heaving mounds of cigarette stinking middle-aged flesh. And then we laughed. But you're in TX. Wow - I'm surprised you don't sound more pissed. I would have been throwing some of that sh*t back.

    By Blogger Mignon, at 4/10/2006 11:22 PM  

  • NICE move, making the intended recipient clean it up!! What a great idea!!

    When I was about 13, our house was TP'd by our church youth group as a "welcome" to us. We were a rather poor family of six - and my mother wanted to save money everywhere possible. Well, the church youth used the expensive, scented Charmin . . .

    Yes - that's right. We got home, my mom got out grocery bags & proceeded to pick TP from the trees, which we used later.

    And people say they know about white trash . . . ;-)

    By Blogger Melodious, at 4/13/2006 1:52 PM  

  • As your former t.p. buddy, I know part of the thrill for us was the FEAR of getting caught and the NEED to get away. With the exception of that one time when that crazy Monty locked me in her house, we always got away. Where's the fun in not being sneakyy about it???

    By Anonymous BF, at 5/16/2006 3:14 PM  

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